How to Better Regulate Your Emotions | Dr. Marc Brackett
4/20/20262 hr 28 min
Dr. Marc Brackett, PhD, is founding director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence and a professor in the Child Study Center at Yale University. We discuss the science of emotion regulation and practical tools to increase your emotional intelligence. Dr. Brackett clarifies exactly how to do that both in the context of relationships, but also things that you can do on your own to become more emotionally intelligent to later serve you in the context of relationships, work, school, etc. We also discuss how your childhood experiences influence your relationship with emotions, with particular emphasis on how boys and men are socialized around emotional processing and expression. Read the show notes at hubermanlab.com. Thank you to our sponsors AG1: https://drinkag1.com/huberman Joovv: https://joovv.com/huberman Lingo: https://hellolingo.com/huberman LMNT: https://drinklmnt.com/huberman Rorra: https://rorra.com/huberman Timestamps (00:00:00) Marc Brackett (00:02:55) Emotion Regulation (00:05:53) Emotion Mindset, Anxiety; Good or Bad Emotions? (00:11:25) Sponsors: Joovv & Lingo (00:13:54) Permission for Happiness; Gender, Emotion Suppression (00:22:13) Young Men, Vulnerability, Incapable; Gay Men (00:31:00) Boys & Men, Crying; Emotion Socialization (00:37:34) Sponsor: AG1 (00:38:58) Physical Interaction; Rough/Tumble Play, Teaching Emotion Regulation (00:46:47) Emotion Calibration, Tools: Leaders & Being a Role Model; Meta-Moment (00:56:15) Meditation & Stress Tolerance, Tool: Label Emotions; Childhood (01:03:12) Sponsor: LMNT (01:04:32) Understand Your Assumptions, Tool: Intentional Co-Regulation (01:12:09) Vocabulary & Rethinking Emotion, Tool: Reframing (01:15:49) Emotional Intelligence Training, Self-Evaluation (01:22:15) Living with Discomfort & Emotional Intelligence (01:27:01) Marc's Work & Criticism; Emotion "Leakage" & Switching Mindset (01:34:19) Sponsor: Rorra (01:35:32) Excitement, Positive Emotion; Modern Concerns, AI & Disconnection (01:45:11) Major Societal Challenges & Everyday Progress (01:54:38) Physical/Emotional Identity & Envision Best Self, Tool: Meta-Moment (02:05:33) Emotional Intelligence (02:12:46) Curiosity & Compassion; Reflection, Identity (02:19:32) Point of Connection Game (02:25:02) Zero-Cost Support, YouTube, Spotify & Apple Follow, Reviews & Feedback, Sponsors, Protocols Book, Social Media, Neural Network Newsletter Disclaimer & Disclosures Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Clips
Transcript preview
First 90 secondsMarc Brackett· Guest0:00
A lot of people think emotion regulation is getting rid of a feeling. It's not what it is. It's just having another relationship to it. I've had anxiety or lived with it for a lot of my life, but sometimes I just say hello to it. It's like, "Hey, how you doing today?" And it goes away pretty quickly, or it just sits there. I think that's the other thing about emotion regulation that people kinda misunderstand. They think it's like, "I gotta check in with how I'm feeling all day long and then regulate. Check in, regulate." Like, you'd become psychotic if you did that all day long.
Andrew Huberman· Host0:29
Mm-hmm.
Marc Brackett· Guest0:29
Most of the time, our emotions are in the background. You know, like, if you thought about your feelings all day long, you wouldn't be able to do this podcast. Like, that's unproductive. Emotions matter when there's a shift in our environment or the relationships. You know, if you said something that offended me, boom, I'm activated. I'm feeling angry or kinda shocked. Then I have to make a choice in that moment, like how do I manage it? That's where the magic happens.
Andrew Huberman· Host0:54
[upbeat music] Welcome to the Huberman Lab Podcast, where we discuss science and science-based tools for everyday life. I'm Andrew Huberman, and I'm a professor of neurobiology and ophthalmology at Stanford School of Medicine. My guest today is Dr. Marc Brackett. Dr. Marc Brackett is a professor of psychology at Yale University, where he is also the director of Yale's Center for Emotional Intelligence. He's an expert in the science of emotions and how to apply that to improve communication and relationships and performance in school and work. One common problem around discussions of emotions