Your Ambitions Might Not Be Yours | Tom Rath
6/1/202646 min
Most of us reach our 40s and discover something unsettling: the ambitions we've been chasing weren't entirely ours. They came from parents, from culture, from the two or three careers we happened to see up close. Tom Rath calls this looking through a pinhole, and he thinks it explains more midlife restlessness than most of us are willing to admit.
Tom is one of the most widely-read researchers on how careers shape health and wellbeing. His books, including the instant number one New York Times bestseller How Full Is Your Bucket? and StrengthsFinder 2.0, have sold more than 10 million copies. His latest book is What's the Point?: Turning Purpose into Your Daily Superpower.
In this conversation, you'll explore:
- Why only 50 jobs represent half the entire labor market, and what that means for the choices you made at 18
- The difference between a ladder and a garden as frameworks for a life and why one of them is making you miserable
- What headstones actually say (and never say) about what we thought mattered
- The legacy question that most people answer wrong and what Tom's grandfather's final hours taught him about the purest form of giving
- Why purpose is less about finding your calling and more about something entirely different
There's a particular kind of grief that comes from realizing your striving belonged to someone else. This conversation is for anyone in midlife who's starting to ask whether the ladder they've been climbing was theirs to begin with.
You can find Tom at: Website | Instagram | Episode Transcript
Next week, we're sharing our conversation with Bela Gandhi to talk about why midlife is actually the moment most people become more ready for a real relationship — and what's quietly getting in the way. Be sure to follow Good Life Project wherever you get your podcasts so you don’t miss any upcoming episodes!
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Clips
Transcript preview
First 90 secondsTom Rath· Guest0:00
Purpose is manufactured in the lab of our daily choices. It's about what you decide to prioritize because it is something that will be meaningful a year from now or 10 years from now. And asking why, and asking what the point of spending two hours on this activity is, or an hour investing in this relationship, or this effort, or this company, or this product. Just ask what's the point all the time during the day. If you do that well, that is how you turn purpose into your daily superpower.
Jonathan Fields· Host0:26
So Tom Rath was diagnosed with a fatal illness at 16, average life expectancy 34. When we spoke, he was 50 years old already, but it was his 40th birthday that became the real turning point when he asked himself, "Did I choose this life or just go along with the current that's already running?" Tom has spent decades studying how careers shape wellbeing, authoring 12 books with over 10 million copies sold. His latest is What's the Point: Turning Purpose into Your Superpower. In this conversation, we explore the inherited ambitions that we carry without even realizing it, why the latter is the wrong model for a life well lived, and what purpose looks like when you stop waiting to find it. [upbeat music] I'm Jonathan Fields, and this is Good Life Project. And I wanna start at the very beginning with Tom. We'll jump in there right after this short break. I have been following your work for, for quite a while. I'm always fascinated to hear your take, your lens on how to investigate