You Spent Years Acting Normal Inside a Life That Never Fit | Sari Botton
6/22/202654 min
Gotta love a good midlife reinvention story, and today we’ve got a great one!
Sari Botton built her career editing some of the most celebrated voices in American literary nonfiction.
Then, in her mid-50s, she watched doors close in her face, turned down for jobs she was overqualified for, told by interviewers in their 30s that she had "done enough."
Out of that experience, she launched Oldster Magazine on Substack, a publication dedicated to aging honestly, at every age. It became a global phenomenon, and led to a book deal. She turned 60 and called it the best moment of her career.
In this conversation, Jonathan and Sari explore:
- Why the most painful thing about midlife is not getting older but realizing how long you spent performing a version of yourself that never quite fit
- What it costs to live at the intersection of "should" and "whatever," and what becomes possible when you stop
- The Gen X inheritance: latchkey-kid freedom, zero parenting bandwidth, and a generation that had to figure out what normal even meant
- Why the best memoir illuminates the mundane, and why women claiming that territory is a quietly radical act
- What it means to be "found-ish": knowing the truest part of yourself while staying open to how life keeps changing you
Sari arrived at the conversation we are having right now by surviving the wrong relationships, the wrong careers, and a deep reluctance to let herself want what she actually wanted. If any of that sounds familiar, this conversation is for you.
You can find Sari at: Website | Instagram | Oldster Substack | Episode Transcript
Next week, I am doing a solo episode on something I have been sitting with for a long time: the hidden resentment you are probably carrying right now, and why it might be one of the most honest things about you. If you think you are not carrying any, that is especially worth your time. Be sure to follow Good Life Project wherever you get your podcasts so you do not miss it.
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Clips
Transcript preview
First 90 secondsJonathan Fields· Host0:00
So few of us consciously decided to suppress who we were in life. We just kind of slid into relationships, careers, and personas that looked right from the outside, and then when we looked up, somewhere in our 40s or 50s or later and thought, "When did I agree to this?" That's what happened with today's fun and inspiring reinvention story guest, Sari Botton. Sari built her career editing some of the most celebrated voices in American literary nonfiction. Then in her mid-50s, she was let go and watched doors close in her face, being turned down for jobs she was overqualified for, even told by interviewers in their 30s that she had, quote, "Done enough," and it was kind of time to step aside. Out of that experience, she launched Oldster Magazine on Substack, a publication dedicated to aging honestly at every age. It became a global phenomenon. Sari recently turned 60 and called it the best moment of her career. In our conversation, we talk about why the most painful thing about midlife is not getting older, but realizing how long you spent performing a version of yourself that never quite fit. We talk about the Gen X inheritance, latchkey kid freedom, zero parenting bandwidth, and a generation that had to figure out what normal even meant. And we explore how sometimes an unplanned push out the door can serve as an unexpected opening to a whole new adventure, and how following your instinct and taking control is so much more fun and empowering than just waiting