Trauma Expert: 3 Oddly Specific ADHD Trauma Issues
6/29/202655 min
Ella McCrystal is a psychotherapist and trauma specialist who helps people understand how early life experiences shape the nervous system, self-worth, relationships, and the way we move through the world.
Together we explore the hidden link between ADHD, trauma, masking, rejection sensitivity (RSD), and why so many people with ADHD feel like they have to become someone else just to be accepted. We also discuss how trauma can make ADHD symptoms feel even more overwhelming, why masking is often a survival response, and what healing can actually look like.
If you've ever wondered who you really are beneath the mask, this episode is for you.
Chapters:
00:00 Trailer
01:16 How do you separate who you are from who you've had to become to survive?
04:02 The childhood experiences that teach people to mask
13:18 Why ADHD can make you more vulnerable to abuse
17:10 How trauma can intensify rejection sensitivity (RSD)
21:29 Why rejection hurts people with ADHD so deeply
23:49 How to calm your nervous system when RSD is triggered
30:07 Tiimo advert
31:26 Is masking actually a survival response?
36:01 What happens when you finally stop masking
37:55 Why masking leaves so many people feeling lonely
40:42 How to find your people and stop feeling alone
44:32 The one thing people with ADHD need to stop apologising for
47:53 The biggest lie people with ADHD have been taught about themselves
52:11 The message every person with ADHD needs to hear
54:05 A letter to my younger self
Visit Ella’s website 👉 https://ellamccrystal.com
Find Ella on Instagram 👉 https://www.instagram.com/ellamccrystal/
Get 30% off an annual Tiimo subscription 👉 https://www.tiimoapp.com/offers/adhdchatter
Buy Alex's book entitled 'Now It All Makes Sense' 👉 https://www.amazon.co.uk/Now-All-Makes-Sense-Diagnosis/dp/1399817817
Order Alex’s latest book about Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria 👉 https://linktr.ee/adhdchatter?utm\_source=linktree\_profile\_share&ltsid=9ffd8709-06df-444c-9936-c136fbd14d6e
Producer: Timon Woodward
Recorded by: Hamlin Studios
Trailer editor: Ryan Faber
DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast and on this webpage is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or qualified healthcare provider. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.
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Clips
Transcript preview
First 90 secondsElla McCrystal· Guest0:00
A lot of high-functioning women with ADHD that are late diagnosed spend their lives masking. From the outside, it doesn't look like there's much wrong. So as soon as you stop masking, uh-oh, the real me is gonna be revealed, and the real me was the one that was told, "You're too lazy, too noisy, too late." You stop trusting yourself, so you're more likely to be able to be vulnerable to manipulation, abuse, and coercion.
Alex· Host0:22
Do you think if you experience the horrific abuse that you went through, do you think that makes a very nasty version of RSD?
Ella McCrystal· Guest0:29
If I feel like I'm not pleasing somebody, they're gonna be unhappy with me, and there's a consequence to that. It's not just about rejection, interestingly enough. It's about being perceived as a problem.
Alex· Host0:39
How do you separate who you are from who you've had to become to survive?
Ella McCrystal· Guest0:44
So- Can I have just a second of your time?
Alex· Host0:48
If this podcast has helped you understand your brain or made you feel less alone, can you do me one favor? Can you hit the follow button? And I'll repay the favor by continuing to book the best and most exclusive conversations on this topic. Please enjoy the episode, and always remember, you're not broken, just different, and you have always been enough. [upbeat music] I recently met an ADHD woman at an event, and she asked me a question that I can't stop thinking about. She said, "How do you separate who you are from who you've had to become to survive?" When you hear that question, what comes up for you, and how does that relate to your personal experience with ADHD and trauma?