The Midnight Library Author: “I Had A Phobia Of Help” | Matt Haig’s Story
5/25/20261 hr 9 min
Matt Willis sits down with the celebrated, bestselling author Matt Haig for a deeply personal conversation on the cost of living without a map. From a life-altering breakdown at 24 to navigating a late-in-life diagnosis of Autism and ADHD, Matt explores how a lack of understanding of his own brain led to decades of exhaustion, masking, and misdirected pain.
The discussion dives into the realities of mental collapse and the quiet return of addiction. Matt shares why he slipped back into drinking after eight years of sobriety and how his neurodiversity diagnosis finally provided the "why" behind his impulses. It’s a raw look at how addiction often wears different clothes at different ages, serving as a crutch for unmet needs.
Ultimately, this episode explores the liberation of finally finding the language for your own experience. It’s an essential listen for anyone seeking to move past the stigma of "brokenness" and understand themselves better.
This episode covers the following themes: Neurodiversity, Identity, Sobriety, Breakdowns, and Resilience.
Matt Haig's latest novel The Midnight Train is out now: https://amzn.eu/d/0gxsyrqe
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Clips
Transcript preview
First 90 secondsMatt Willis· Host0:00
Want to know who's coming up next? Hit follow wherever you get your podcasts, and you'll be the first to find out. [gentle music] I had been in denial of kind of low level depression- Mm ... self-esteem issues, anxiety for years. I went for a diagnosis of ADHD, and when I had the interview, they were saying, "Yes, you do present ADHD, but you're scor- scoring higher for autism." Do you think that things would've been different if you had that when you were a kid? Hey, everyone, and welcome back to On The Mend. This is the podcast where we look back at life's toughest moments to figure out how to move forward, and today, we have the one and only Matt Haig in the studio. Now, Matt, I think I first bothered you with coming onto this podcast in 2022.
Matt Haig· Guest0:48
Yeah.
Matt Willis· Host0:48
I looked back at my messages, and I was like, I've been pestering you [laughs] for so, so sorry.
Matt Haig· Guest0:53
Yeah. I, I think we're both equally crap, weren't we- Yeah, yeah ... at actually managing to practically arrange this to happen.
Matt Willis· Host0:58
[laughs] Exactly.
Matt Haig· Guest0:58
Both ADHD.
Matt Willis· Host0:59
Exactly.
Matt Haig· Guest1:00
Uh- All the best intentions. All the best. We're both super enthusiastic. [laughs] Loads of emojis. [laughs] But didn't actually... Oh, yeah, definitely.
Matt Willis· Host1:08
Yeah, we, we can't wait. This is amazing.
Matt Haig· Guest1:10
[laughs] [laughs] 27 messages of, "Yeah, yeah, absolutely."
Matt Willis· Host1:15
Never, never, never actually, never actually do anything about it. But, um, uh, I, I've, I've got a, I've been a fan for a while, you know, like, so it's, um, it's really g- great to finally meet you.
Matt Haig· Guest1:24
Oh, thank you.
Matt Willis· Host1:25
To have you in the room. I've watched a lot of stuff that you've done, and, um, I, I find it really...