Relationship Agreements: A Powerful Way to Deepen Love & Lessen Conflict | Krista & Will Van Derveer
3/16/20260 min
Want a deeper, more secure, fiercely connected relationship? Then, you’ll want to check out the power of relationship agreements.
In this episode, we sit down with Krista and Dr. Will Van Derveer. Will is a psychiatrist and author of the book Psychedelic Therapy, and Krista is a Relational Leadership Educator who helps partnerships move from the "I Operating System" to a "We Operating System."
We explore:
- How to craft your own sacred relationship agreements that keep bringing you back to love, no matter how much friction your find yourself in.
- The wildly surprising "Couch Time" technique that uses mammal-to-mammal co-regulation to stop a heated argument in 60 seconds.
- A simple shift in perspective that allows you to stop seeing your partner as a "fixed object" and start seeing them with fresh eyes.
- The "Abundant Repair" protocol for ensuring you never go to bed with tension still lingering in your body.
- Why most "implicit" agreements fail and how to write down the 24 sacred guardrails that protect your connection.
If you are tired of the same old arguments and want a relationship that actually empowers your individual potential, this conversation is for you. Click play to learn how to transform your partnership into a powerhouse of growth.
You can find Krista & Will at: The Art of We | Get the Top 10 Relationship Agreements | Episode Transcript
Next week, we're sharing a really meaningful conversation with Dr. Deepika Chopra about toxic positivity and how to be optimistic without tipping into delusion, distraction, or even harm.
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Clips
Transcript
12 sentencesJonathan Fields· Host0:00
So we all want that sense of easy, stable love, but so often we find ourselves just kinda falling into the same old ruts. We assume we know what our partner's thinking. We let small s- you know, tensions simmer, and eventually the magic just starts to feel a bit like a chore. My guests today say it doesn't have to be that way if you're willing to move from what they call an I operating system to a we operating system. Krista and Will Van Der Veer join me to talk about the, quote, "sacred guardrails or agreements" that they use to keep their relationship thriving. Will is a psychiatrist and author of the new book Psychedelic Therapy, and Krista is a leadership educator who specializes in how we relate to one another. Together, they host the Art of We podcast. In this conversation, we're exploring how to craft your own sacred relationship agreements that keep bringing you back to love, how to, quote, "gamble everything for love by servicing the things you're usually too afraid to say." We talk about a somatic couch tool for cooling down high conflict moments using simple biology and why abundant repair is one of the secrets to feeling closer after a fight than you did before it even started. I- it's a bit of a master class in how to build a partnership that isn't just a, you know, a private love oasis, but an engine for your greatest work in the world. So excited to share this conversation with you. I'm Jonathan Fields, and this is Good Life Project.