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Lust, Addiction, and Ambition: Why Your Desires Are Wired to Disappoint You | Joseph Goldstein

5/20/20261 hr 7 min

Why you'll never find happiness where you're looking for it–and where to look instead.

Joseph Goldstein is a cofounder of the Insight Meditation Society and the Barre Center for Buddhist Studies, both in Barre, Massachusetts. He is the author of many books including, most recently, Dreamscapes of the Mind

In this episode we talk about:

  • Why desire and wanting can keep us stuck in cycles of dissatisfaction
  • The difference between momentary pleasure and deeper happiness
  • A practical way to watch cravings arise and pass without reacting
  • Why "not wanting" can feel surprisingly relieving
  • The Buddhist framework of gratification, danger, and escape
  • How to think about contentment and the question: how much is enough?
  • The difference between guilt and wise remorse
  • How desire, lust, and craving can distort judgment

Join Dan, Sebene Selassie, and Jeff Warren for Meditation Party, a 3-day immersive retreat at the Omega Institute in Rhinebeck, NY, October 16–18. Grab your in-person spot here, or sign up to livestream here!

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Additional Resources: 

  • Dharma Seed - freely offered talks from Western Buddhist Vipassana teachers

This episode is sponsored by Function Health — 160+ lab tests a year for $365, with the ability to dive deeper into your results through Function's connections to platforms like ChatGPT and Claude. Join at https://www.functionhealth.com/happier or use code HAPPIER25 for a $25 credit toward your membership.

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Clips

Transcript preview

First 90 seconds
  1. Dan Harris· Host0:00

    [upbeat music] This is the Ten Percent Happier podcast. I'm Dan Harris. [upbeat music] Hello, my fellow suffering beings. How we doing today? I have this memory, and this will be a brief story, but I have this memory from many years ago when I was sitting at dinner with a very smart friend who described his life strategy as accumulating as many pleasurable experiences as possible as a way to avoid looking into the abyss. And that's kind of an extreme articulation of what is, I think, an MO, consciously or subconsciously, for many of us. We're all trying to collect as many dopamine hits as possible in, in order not to think about the fact that we're all gonna die. But from the Buddhist POV, we're really looking for happiness in the wrong places. While the Buddha was in no way anti-pleasure, he didn't say that, you know, we shouldn't sip lattes or eat pizza or go to parties or anything like that, but he did describe this kind of pleasure as being like licking honey from the edge of a razor. It's dangerous psychologically because while we can derive pleasure from these experiences, they are fleeting, and they cannot provide lasting fulfillment. The good news is that the Buddha recommended a kind of, and you'll hear me use this phrase in this

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