It’s not your fault! 5 Ways to break free of the self-sabotage cycle
4/27/202649 min
If you've ever found yourself doing the exact thing you promised yourself you wouldn't, and then spent the next day beating yourself up about it… I want to help you break that cycle. Because here’s what I want you to know before we even start: You’re not weak. You are not broken and it’s not your fault. Our brains are biologically programmed to keep us safe and we fall back into old patterns because we are building a new version of ourselves we haven’t met before. In this episode, I breakdown the self-sabotage cycle. What it actually is, why incredibly capable women keep doing it, and most importantly, what you can do to break the cycle for good. Key moments: 00:00: What self-sabotage actually is and the reframe that changes everything 3:24 The real reason why your brain default to familiar patterns 6:21: When who you want to be outpaces who you believe you, the science behind your mindset 7:06: Scrolling, Sugar, Alcohol. The science behind why it’s so hard to “just have one” 15:26: How to track your triggers in your self-sabotag loop 17:08 The non-negotiables for creating a good sleep routine 26:02: SImple tips to help you regulate your nervous system 26:41 How the middle gear is destroying us and why most women are stuck there 33:51: How to become a woman who keeps her promises to herself, the mindset shift that help build better habits 41:54: How to remove temptation… keep the ritual but change the ingredient and why it works 45:47: Ask yourself these questions if you’re stuck in the self-sabotage loop The Big Leap, Gay Hendricks (upper limiting concept) Atomic Habits, James Clear (reducing friction) Yoga Nidra with Yogi Bryan, find him on Insight Timer (search: Bryan) App Blocker to reduce phone scrolling at night Previous episode: Interview with Jay Fields on Nervous System Regulation Follow along and see the behind the scenes over at https://www.instagram.com/sarahrusbatch/?hl=en Join my latest Challenge and find out more about my other programs here https://sarahrusbatch.com/ If you want to join a space where women feel safe to be seen, ask the questions they don’t always say out loud and connect with others going through the same as you,join my free Facebook group, Women’s Wellbeing Collective here. And if changing your relationship with alcohol is something you want to explore further, you can find my book Beyond Booze on Audible, Spotify, Kindle and Amazon. Click the link here.
Transcript preview
First 90 secondsSarah Rusbatch· Host0:00
Why do we keep doing the thing that we don't want to do? Whether that's drinking, whether it's emotional eating, whether it's scrolling. I don't know a single woman out there who does not, at some point in her life, find herself self-sabotaging. Today, we're going to look at why intelligent, capable women keep doing it, and spoiler alert, it is not your fault. Your brain's number one job is to keep you safe. So your nervous system tends to pull you back into familiar patterns, even if they're unhealthy. So for me, when I was drinking at quite a dysfunctional level, [lips smack] I would wake up of a morning, and I would be like, "Right, that's it, I'm not drinking tonight. Oh my God, I can't believe how pissed I got last night, what a dick I made of myself. I can't believe what I said." And what had happened during that day was I would have had, like, a really stressful, busy day. My body would have been in fight or flight mode, just fighting for survival. And the brain goes, "Ah, I know what works when I'm in that stressed, overwhelmed state." And the brain has these neural pathways of, "This is what I've always done." If we were to start to think about the five ways to actually breaking that self-sabotage cycle, the first thing... [upbeat music] Hi, hi, and welcome back to another episode of Stronger, Bolder, Wiser with me, Sarah Rusbat. How are you going? [lips smack] I love these episodes where