How to Stay in Love with Your Soul Mate, with Special Guest Ester Brooks
7/6/20261 hr 9 min
Thirty-five years ago, I somehow convinced an extraordinary woman to marry me. Our relationship began like any other—attraction, a leap of faith, and eventually the decision to embark on the unknown journey ahead of us together.
In this episode of Office Hours, my wife, Ester Munt-Brooks, and I reflect on what we’ve learned over 35 years of choosing each other—from the risks we took early on, to why love is much more than a feeling. Drawing on the wisdom of Thomas Aquinas, we explore what it truly means to love—and how that understanding can transform every relationship.
—
Brought to you by:
• Noble Mobile—With Noble, there is only one plan: The No-Bull Plan. It’s simple. It’s transparent. And if you use less data, you get cash back. Get an exclusive offer at:https://noblemobile.com/arthurbrooks
—
Where to find Ester Munt-Brooks:
• Website: https://www.fevaloryalegria.org/
• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/estermunt
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/FAITHWITHJOYTALKS/
Where to find Arthur Brooks:
• Website: https://arthurbrooks.com/
• In-person Retreats: https://retreats.arthurbrooks.com/
• Newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter
• X: https://x.com/arthurbrooks
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/
• Email: officehours@arthurbrooks.com
—
Timestamps:
(00:00) Intro
(08:55) Arthur and Ester’s love story
(14:02) The risks they took to give it a shot
(19:30) How Ester came to embrace marriage
(24:36) The next stage: Marriage and children
(28:05) St. Thomas Aquinas’s definition of love
(45:20) What’s coming up in future episodes on love
(46:04) The three big love lessons
(49:26) Q&A: Personalizing a morning routine for your needs
(55:06) Q&A: How to think about faith while dating
(57:54) Q&A: How having children impacts happiness
(1:02:30) Q&A: How to meet people in person
—
Referenced:
• The Meaning of Your Life: Finding Purpose in an Age of Emptiness: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-of-your-life
• Meaning Membership: https://hub.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-membership
• Arthur’s newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter
• The Happiness Scale: https://learn.arthurbrooks.com/the-happiness-scale
• The Pursuit of Happiness with Arthur Brooks: https://www.thefp.com/s/the-pursuit-of-happiness-with-arthur
• The Meaning of Your Life Retreats: https://retreats.arthurbrooks.com
• ...References continued at: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/office-hours
—
Production and marketing by https://penname.co/.
Clips
Transcript preview
First 90 secondsLizzo0:00
Are you one of those media strategy people clicking through slides, scrolling spreadsheets? Yes? Good. This is for you. Because on Spotify there's an audience that's different, locked in, loyal, invested. They're called fans. [fans screaming] Fans don't just listen to music, they feel seen by it, like it belongs to them. So when your brand shows up on Spotify, that's who you're talking to, and you're right next to artists like me, Lizzo. So are you ready to talk to fans? Spotify Advertising: You're among fans.
Arthur Brooks· Host0:29
I went home after one week together. I said, "Dad, I think I met the girl I'm gonna marry." And he said, "Great." I said, "Well, there's some difficulty. She doesn't speak English. She doesn't live in the United States, and she made it known to me that she doesn't believe in marriage."
Esther Munt-Brooks· Guest0:43
I met you, and I had that strong intuition that you were trustworthy, and, um, I fell in love with you. I sold my trumpet. I sold my old car that I had, and I bought a ticket to go to New York. And I lied to everybody because I didn't wanna admit the reason I was going to New York was to- See a boy ... to see a boy.
Arthur Brooks· Host1:04
Esther and I have been married for 35 years come November, and it's been an amazing adventure in love and in life, and we wanna talk about that today. But not only that, we wanna talk about how to stay in love, me from a more scientific aspect, and her, Esther, from her background, which is in theology.