How to Overcome Social Anxiety | Dr. Nick Epley
5/18/20262 hr 31 min
Dr. Nick Epley, PhD, is a professor of behavioral science at the University of Chicago and a leading expert on the science of social connection. We discuss how seemingly small daily interactions with strangers (as well as with people we know) can meaningfully improve our mental and physical health. Dr. Epley also explains how to reduce social anxiety using simple and easily accessible science-supported tools. We also discuss the data on assumptions — both the ones we and others make — and why so often those are wrong when it comes to social dynamics. Read the episode show notes at hubermanlab.com. Thank you to our sponsors AG1: https://drinkag1.com/huberman Wealthfront*: https://wealthfront.com/huberman Eight Sleep: https://eightsleep.com/huberman Function: https://functionhealth.com/huberman LMNT: https://drinklmnt.com/huberman Timestamps (00:00:00) Nick Epley (00:02:29) Assumptions about Other Thoughts; Inferring Behavior (00:09:03) Eye Gaze, Social Cues (00:14:27) Sponsors: Wealthfront & Eight Sleep (00:17:18) Tone, Voice vs Writing; AI; Public Figures & Ambiguity (00:29:59) Importance of Social Connection, Communication Types (00:37:18) Social Isolation, Self-Worth (00:42:33) Sponsor: AG1 (00:44:16) Social Media, Conversation & Responsiveness (00:47:52) Social Connection & Cooperation; Adopted Children (00:57:04) Connecting with Strangers, Manners (01:02:52) Fear of Strangers, Tool: Small Moments for Connection (01:08:50) Sponsor: Function (01:10:28) Connection to Humanity, Strangers; Extroversion & Well-Being (01:22:26) Social Anxiety & Changing Beliefs; 100 Days of Rejection (01:33:52) Perceived Creepiness, Social Anxiety; Developing Social Skills (01:41:40) Sponsor: LMNT (01:43:00) Initiating Conversation, Testing Cues, Pessimistic Expectations (01:47:00) Social Gatherings; Blessings of Children with Down Syndrome (01:59:43) Parents, Shame, Children Challenges; Supporting Kids' Pursuits (02:09:17) Outdoors, Hunters, Conservation, Social Connection (02:17:39) Modeling Social Interactions for Kids, Tool: Habits Awareness (02:27:42) Zero-Cost Support, YouTube, Spotify & Apple Follow, Reviews & Feedback, Sponsors, Protocols Book, Social Media, Neural Network Newsletter Disclaimer & Disclosures Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Clips
Transcript preview
First 90 secondsNick Epley· Guest0:00
Social anxiety is something we really can help people with. Essentially, the strategy is very simple. If you are afraid of talking with a stranger or having a deep conversation, the way to get over that is not to simulate it or to imagine. It's not like you get up and you, you give a pretend speech. That's what psychologists were doing for years. It doesn't work because it's still pretending. It has to be real. You send people out in the world and to do the thing for real. You're worried about getting rejected, go out and start asking people for help, and you'll learn that your fear is misplaced, that you get accepted more often than you might guess. Exposing people to that thing that they're anxious of, when the belief is misplaced, and with social anxiety, it is usually wildly misplaced, that's what we find over and over again, is a mistaken barrier to connecting with other people. That's how you, you ease that social anxiety and get rid of it. Not because you d- do, you dull your anxiety so much. It's because you change your beliefs about what other people are like.
Andrew Huberman· Host0:56
Welcome to the Huberman Lab Podcast, where we discuss science and science-based tools for everyday life. [guitar music] I'm Andrew Huberman, and I'm a professor of neurobiology and ophthalmology at Stanford School of Medicine. My guest today is Dr. Nick Epley. Dr. Nick Epley is a behavioral scientist at the University of Chicago and an expert researcher on the science of social connection. What's different about today's conversation in the context of social connection is that it doesn't just center on improving relationships with friends or family or coworkers. We do talk about that,