Why Algorithms Can’t Predict Your Love Life with Dr. Paul Eastwick
2/23/202641 min
Modern dating can feel like a marketplace. We’re told we all have a “mate value,” that some people are 9s and 10s, and that the laws of evolution determine who gets chosen — and who gets rejected. But what if we’ve misunderstood what evolutionary science actually says about love?
Dr. Laurie sits down with social psychologist Dr. Paul Eastwick, author of Bonded by Evolution: The New Science of Love and Connection, to challenge some of the most pervasive myths about attraction and compatibility. Do dating app algorithms actually know who's right for you? Are we really all placed...
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First 90 secondsLaurie Santos· Host0:00
[intro music] Pushkin. [gentle music] As William Shakespeare once said, "The course of true love never did run smooth." And one of the unsmoothest parts of love is the initial attraction phase. You see somebody across the way who looks kinda cute, but will that person like you back? Will they think you're hot enough, smart enough, successful enough? Sometimes the answer is yes. Cue all the hearts and fireworks. But at least some of the time, the answer is no. [downward sliding tone] The person that you're into isn't that into you.
Paul Eastwick· Guest0:40
Relationships, and attraction especially, there can be a lot of rejection. It can be pretty demoralizing. And to some extent you can't skip that part, but I think it really matters, why was I rejected in this instance?
Laurie Santos· Host0:53
This is Dr. Paul Eastwick, an expert on the psychology of human mating.
Paul Eastwick· Guest0:57
And there's a whole set of ideas out there that suggest that you got rejected because you're a 3 out of 10, and you're just gonna need to settle for the other 3s.
Laurie Santos· Host1:10
Paul is referring to a set of ideas he calls the evo script, the notion that human attraction boils down to the harsh laws of natural selection. Under the evo script, finding the right partner is all about finding someone with good genes. Some of us, those so-called 9s and 10s out there, possess a whole host of traits that signal those good genes. The rest