Tractor Man - The Movie
6/16/202650 min
Alistair explains why Rachel is lucky to have their friendship. Then Al describes all his ridiculous feature film ideas that bafflingly no Hollywood studio has picked up yet.
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Clips
Transcript preview
First 90 secondsAlistair Green· Host0:00
[upbeat music] I just got so annoyed. I ju- just before, I'll just tell you this quickly. I went to, um, the cafe this morning.
Rachel Stubbings· Host0:14
Mm-hmm.
Alistair Green· Host0:14
See if you think this is irrational.
Rachel Stubbings· Host0:16
It will be.
Alistair Green· Host0:16
[laughs] No, no, you don't know what it is.
Rachel Stubbings· Host0:18
No, it will be.
Alistair Green· Host0:19
So why'd you say that?
Rachel Stubbings· Host0:20
Because of your personality.
Alistair Green· Host0:22
Mm, my personality is rational, I think. Um- Go on ... so you know where you order the coffee and, um, order the coffee, you know you have to, in some places you have to walk a little bit further along to pick it up.
Rachel Stubbings· Host0:36
Yes.
Alistair Green· Host0:36
You know, they drop- Yes ... they put the coffee on the- Yes, I know. I'm just trying to explain it to you in case you didn't know. So not all coffee shops do that.
Rachel Stubbings· Host0:43
Yeah. Okay.
Alistair Green· Host0:44
So I ordered the coffee, and they went, "Oh, just collect it down the end there." So I waited. You know you have to stand there for a minute, you know, just standing there waiting. And there was a bloke in front of me, there was a man standing there talking to the woman who was serving up the coffees.
Rachel Stubbings· Host0:57
The cunt.
Alistair Green· Host0:58
Right? So she's putting the coffees... Yeah. I was so annoyed, but, but he wasn't holding her up. Like, she was still able... She was just talking, going, "Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah." He wasn't holding her up, but the fact that he was standing there and taking up, like, a millimeter of space. It just... All I had to do really is just reach round him slightly to put the lid on my... But the whole time I was watching him, thinking, "If this fucking piece of shit doesn't move." [laughs] I was so angry. I was like... He wa- But, um, just to be clear, there was no queue, it wasn't causing any problems other than the fact that I d- I need that space.