The Truth About Caregiving No One Talks About
5/7/202654 min
Caregiving can quietly reshape a family, shifting roles, responsibilities, and relationships in ways that are often hard to name. It can bring people closer, but it can also surface distance, guilt, and questions about what it really means to show up for someone you love.
In this episode of Mind If We Talk?, host and licensed mental health counselor Sreela Roy-Greene sits down with Chris Punsalan and his cousin Merz Esguerra. They reflect on their very different experiences caring for their grandmother: Chris was her full-time caregiver for eight years, while Merz describes taking more of a backseat during that time.
Their conversation opens up a deeper look at family roles, emotional labor, and the complicated mix of love, obligation, and regret that can come with caring for an aging loved one.
00:00 The Emotional Reality of Caregiving
02:54 Meet Chris and Merz: A Family Caregiving Story
05:40 What Daily Life as a Caregiver Looks Like
10:35 Why Caregivers Often Don’t Ask for Help
14:22 Regret, Guilt, and Family Dynamics
16:56 The Emotional Cost of Caregiving
20:52 Finding Purpose Through Caregiving
24:38 Advice for Caregivers
27:10 What Caregiving Teaches About Love
29:11 Expert Perspective on Caregiver Burnout
30:17 How to Ask for Help as a Caregiver
34:11 Family Communication and Support
42:56 Feeling Overwhelmed and Coping Strategies
53:26 Closing Reflections
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Clips
Transcript preview
First 90 secondsChris Punsalan· Guest0:00
It's this push and pull of understanding and having empathy for my grandmother, knowing she didn't ask to be taken care of in that way, but then also being selfish and saying, "What about me? What about my life? I am in my early 20s having this responsibility on my plate. What about me?" Um, so it's feeling both and, and not really knowing how to handle both.
Merz Esguerra· Guest0:21
[phone vibrates] [keyboard clicks] Hey, can I talk to you about something? [upbeat music] I wish you knew...
Hannah Heitz· Guest0:31
I wish you knew how lonely menopause felt.
Chris Punsalan· Guest0:35
I wish you knew why it's so hard for men to share their feelings.
Hannah Heitz· Guest0:40
I wish you knew what it was like growing up in a low-income family.
Sreela Roy-Greene· Host0:42
I wish you knew how hard it was not having a college degree.
Merz Esguerra· Guest0:45
I wish you knew what it's like to be me.
Sreela Roy-Greene· Host0:49
Welcome back to "Mind If We Talk?" where you get to be a fly on the wall for mini therapy sessions and learn some mental health tips in the process. I'm Sri Laroy Green, a licensed mental health counselor with over 19 years of experience and your host for season two. This season, we're bringing people together who see the world a little bit differently and who want to understand one another better. Every episode, I sit down with two people who've agreed to have a real, vulnerable conversation. Together, we explore the thorny emotions and topics they may have turned away from in the past. After each mini therapy session, I'll sit down with an expert to break down what