The New Fatherhood: “You Either Sort It Out or Pass It On”
5/12/202638 min
For generations, fathers were taught that their job was simple: protect, provide, preside.
But what happens when those old rules no longer fit?
In this conversation, Dr. Becky talks with writer and father Kevin Maguire ("The New Fatherhood") about the emotional transformation happening inside modern fatherhood — and why so many dads are trying to parent differently than they were parented themselves.
They explore:
- why presence matters more than ever in parenting
- the hidden identity shift that happens when men become fathers
- why play can feel surprisingly hard for dads
- anger, emotional regulation, and repair
- the pressure men feel to disconnect from vulnerability
- paternal postpartum depression and why so few people talk about it
- how healing ourselves changes the way we show up for our kids
This is an honest conversation about masculinity, parenting, emotions, and the courage it takes to break generational patterns.
Kevin's new book is called The New Fatherhood: Why Everything They Told You About Being A Dad Is Wrong, and How Embracing It Will Transform Your Life.
Thank you to our partners for making this episode possible:
- Ole Henriksen: Use the code DRBECKY30 for 30% off the Banana Bright+ Eye Crème
- Airbnb: Host your home or book your next stay on Airbnb
- Knix: Use the code GOODINSIDE for 15% off period underwear
- Oso & Me: Use the code OSOGOOD15 for 15% off clothes newborn through age ten
Good Inside is growing up! Listen to The In-Between Years with Dr. Sheryl, for parents of teens and tweens!
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Clips
Showing 10 of 12Transcript preview
First 90 secondsDr. Becky Kennedy· Host0:00
There's a very specific kind of tired that comes with parenting. It's not just late nights. Oh, no. It's the mental load, the early mornings, the constantly being needed or having someone sitting on your lap, and I know, for me, sometimes I'll catch myself looking at my reflection and just think, "This is not great. My eyes [laughs] are telling the whole story of the last couple days." It's why I use OleHenriksen's Banana Bright+ Eye Cream. It's clinically crafted with gold complexed vitamin C that instantly brightens tired eyes while visibly reducing dark circles so you look more rested even when you're not. And I really appreciate that it's that simple. One small step in the morning that helps you feel a little more put together before you start taking care of everyone else. Because this isn't about perfection, it's about feeling like yourself in a demanding season. If you wanna try it, use code DrBecky30 for 30% off the Banana Bright+ Eye Cream at olehenriksen.com.
Kevin Maguire· Guest0:56
So much of the time the issue isn't with the child, the issue is with us, and we have to get out of the way. Oh, what I'm bringing to the table here is all of my baggage. You'll be forced to come to terms with so much that you haven't yet thought about and so many things that you've kind of put into that junk drawer, that emotional junk drawer that you have in the kitchen.
Dr. Becky Kennedy· Host1:20
This is an episode about fatherhood. Now, if you're not a father, if you're a mother, if you're a grandparent, this is still for you because