the life you want is on the other side of conflict [ft. Monika Alanna]

REGISTRATION FOR CONFLICT SCHOOL OPENS JUNE 16TH!

Connect with me, Hanna, your host: 
Instagram: @grace.pilled
hannawilliams.com (bookings, conflict school, etc)
patreon.com/gracepilled
(join as a free member to get access to a collection of talks!)

Connect with Monika Alanna 
Instagram: 
@rooted.relating (coaching/grief counseling)
@magicksalt (handmade jewelry, art, writing)
www.magicksalt.com

In this episode, Monika and I sit down for a deeply personal conversation about conflict, honesty, intimacy, self-betrayal, nervous system regulation, and what it actually means to love another human being truthfully.

We explore the ways our childhoods shaped our relationship to conflict, why so many people fear honest conversations, and how relational rupture can sometimes become the doorway to deeper intimacy, self-awareness, and transformation. We talk about family systems, tone policing, “canaries in the coal mine,” heartbreak, staying too long, leaving too late, and the difficult reality that sometimes love asks us to confront truths we desperately wish were not true.

Throughout the conversation, we return again and again to the idea that conflict is not inherently destructive. In many ways, conflict is the mechanism through which real connection becomes possible. We discuss how nervous system regulation impacts our ability to listen, why most people black out during difficult conversations, the difference between abusive communication and emotional intensity, and how learning to tolerate discomfort may actually be the pathway to the intimacy most people claim to want.

We also speak candidly about our own lives and relationships: what it means to feel unseen, how people carry old wounds into present relationships, the stories we tell ourselves after heartbreak, and the strange grace that can emerge when we stop avoiding difficult truths.

This episode is philosophical, emotionally raw, funny at times, and deeply rooted in the belief that the life we want often exists on the other side of the conversations we are most afraid to have.

Conflict School begins July 28th.

This year, the course will be six weeks long instead of four, giving us much more room to go deeper into the anatomy of conflict, communication, nervous system work, rupture and repair, relational dynamics, and actionable skills that can radically transform the way you engage with disagreement and intimacy.

Registration opens June 16th. From June 16th–23rd, we’ll be offering an early bird rate of $200 for the full six-week program. After that, the price increases to $250.

More details will be available on my website soon.

Let’s get into it.