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The Last Rites of Eternal Chaos with Trixie and Katya

3/3/202654 min

You are cordially invited to attend a most distinguished yet eminently fake wake in honor of Trixie Mattel and Katya Zamolodchikova, the undisputed queens of chaos, podcasts, and mirth. We shall convene in a chapel that smells faintly of Red Bull, stale makeup, and air conditioner refrigerant. Guests will enjoy a program of refined absurdities including a dramatic reading of Whitney Houston's 2001 BET Awards acceptance speech, a panel discussion on Taco Bell entitled, "Beans, Cheese, and Consequences," and a ceremonial burning of Katya's old hip. Attendees will encounter a tasteful lounge where retired wigs dispense movie reviews and gallon-jugs...

Clips

Transcript preview

First 90 seconds
  1. Katya Zamolodchikova· Host0:00

    We are very excited to announce that our Very Bald and Very Beautiful podcast tour is almost sold out for spring.

  2. Trixie Mattel· Host0:06

    I'm excited. We're not doing that many dates, and my New Year's resolution is q- q- quality over- Quantity ... quantity.

  3. Katya Zamolodchikova· Host0:11

    I, I agree.

  4. Trixie Mattel· Host0:11

    And we're doing it.

  5. Katya Zamolodchikova· Host0:12

    We're doing it. Can you believe we had to add a second show to Boston and Toronto?

  6. Trixie Mattel· Host0:16

    Queen.

  7. Katya Zamolodchikova· Host0:16

    [laughs] We sure did, so you [censored] Bostonians and Toronto and Torontites or whatever the [censored] you call yourselves, you better get some tickets.

  8. Trixie Mattel· Host0:25

    Yeah.

  9. Katya Zamolodchikova· Host0:25

    Sn- snatch them up.

  10. Trixie Mattel· Host0:26

    We do have a few seats left for some of these cities, and we are not doing that many of these this year.

  11. Katya Zamolodchikova· Host0:31

    No, it's gonna be hot. It's gonna be exclusive. It's gonna be fabulous.

  12. Trixie Mattel· Host0:35

    Tickets available now at trixieandcatty.com.

  13. Katya Zamolodchikova· Host0:37

    Queen.

  14. Trixie Mattel· Host0:38

    I'll take un cigarette.

  15. Katya Zamolodchikova· Host0:39

    [laughs] That's so good. [gentle music] Kim Kardashian had this absolutely stunning, sexy look- I love that ... at the Met Gala. Kim Kardashian.

  16. Trixie Mattel· Host0:54

    It sounds like s- in my mind- Kim Kardashian ... when you go f- to Dunkin' Donuts by your house in Boston- Give me a small dark, two sugars, and a powdered donut.

  17. Katya Zamolodchikova· Host1:00

    Yeah ...

  18. Trixie Mattel· Host1:01

    [laughs] that's the person.

  19. Katya Zamolodchikova· Host1:02

    It totally is. It totally is.

  20. Trixie Mattel· Host1:03

    That Dunkin' Donuts goes off. Shut up, sh- Which one? The one by your old apartment.

  21. Katya Zamolodchikova· Host1:07

    Oh.

  22. Trixie Mattel· Host1:07

    Like, through the alley.

  23. Katya Zamolodchikova· Host1:07

    Yeah, with the... Does it still have the Starbucks there? The, the competing, the, they do, like, white collar, blue collar lo- you know what I mean?

  24. Trixie Mattel· Host1:14

    If you're at Jock's- Yeah ... and you go out, you walk through that alley.

  25. Katya Zamolodchikova· Host1:16

    You go across. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You walk through the alley.

  26. Trixie Mattel· Host1:17

    That one to the left.

  27. Katya Zamolodchikova· Host1:18

    Mm-hmm.

  28. Trixie Mattel· Host1:19

    That one, I think, is the flagship.

  29. Katya Zamolodchikova· Host1:21

    They used to have a Starbucks right next to it. Yeah.

  30. Trixie Mattel· Host1:21

    It's the flagship Boston...

  31. Katya Zamolodchikova· Host1:23

    Dunkin' Donuts?

  32. Trixie Mattel· Host1:25

    Yep. [laughs] Over the land of the free.

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