The ADHD Hack I Learnt From 8 Years In The Military - ADHD Is A Curse... Until You Learn It
7/13/202659 min
Why do so many people with ADHD spend their lives trying to earn their worth? How do you know if you're masking? And why do even the most successful ADHD adults still feel like they're failing?
In this episode, ADHD coach and former British Army soldier Rich Forbes explains the hidden emotional burden of ADHD, how to spot masking, practical strategies for managing rejection sensitivity, and why the right environment can change everything. Before becoming an ADHD coach, Rich served for eight years in the British Army, bringing a unique perspective on resilience, identity, and what it really takes to thrive with ADHD.
Chapters:
00:00 Trailer
03:33 Why ADHD Makes You Feel You Have to Earn Your Worth
05:00 The Hidden Cost of Constantly Proving Yourself
07:53 The Moment Everything Finally Made Sense
09:10 The Saddest Thing People With ADHD Tell Themselves
10:16 The Grief Nobody Warns You About After ADHD Diagnosis
11:01 Why ADHD Diagnosis Hurts Differently at Every Age
17:00 How to Tell If You've Been Masking Your Entire Life
18:54 Maybe You're Not the Problem, Maybe It's Your Environment
21:04 Is Masking ADHD's Biggest Challenge?
25:06 What Years of Masking Really Costs You
28:22 The Emotional Weight ADHD Adults Carry Every Day
31:37 Tiimo Advert
32:56 How to Calm Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria
34:52 A New ADHD Hack That Changes Everything
38:52 Why Success Never Feels Like Enough With ADHD
40:16 The Advice Every ADHD Adult Needs to Hear
42:33 The One Thing ADHD Adults Need to Stop Blaming Themselves For
48:03 Why Successful Women With ADHD Still Feel Like Failures
54:46 The Biggest Myth About ADHD in Women
58:18 A Letter to My Younger Self
Find Rich on Instagram 👉 https://www.instagram.com/richforbes\_adhdcoach
Get 30% off an annual Tiimo subscription 👉 https://www.tiimoapp.com/offers/adhdchatter
Buy Alex's book entitled 'Now It All Makes Sense' 👉 https://www.amazon.co.uk/Now-All-Makes-Sense-Diagnosis/dp/1399817817
Order Alex’s book about Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria 👉 https://linktr.ee/adhdchatter?utm\_source=linktree\_profile\_share&ltsid=9ffd8709-06df-444c-9936-c136fbd14d6e
Producer: Timon Woodward
Recorded by: Hamlin Studios
Trailer editor: Ryan Faber
DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast and on this webpage is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or qualified healthcare provider. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.
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Clips
Transcript preview
First 90 secondsRich Forbes· Guest0:00
In the ADHD community, there's a thing that you feel you should be right about. If somebody else gets it wrong, that's gonna trigger that justice sensitivity to the point where even after that conversation has died, you're obsessing over that particular piece and justifying that you were right to have called them out on it, and it's only towards the end of that rumination cycle that you think, "Well, maybe I pushed that a bit too far."
Alex· Host0:21
Do you think a lot of people with ADHD spend their whole life trying to earn their self-worth?
Rich Forbes· Guest0:25
We have this perception, it's either only us that feels like this or it's everybody. Both of those come with a need to be visible for the good things while you continue to contain the bad things that you know circle around inside.
Alex· Host0:39
Really, the reason I was so excited to bring you onto the podcast, could you share your groundbreaking ADHD coping strategy with us?
Rich Forbes· Guest0:47
It's a catch-all for all ADHD traits, and it's RAISE. R-A-I-S-E.
Alex· Host0:52
Let's start with R. What does that stand for? Can I have just a second of your time? If this podcast has helped you understand your brain or made you feel less alone, can you do me one favor? Can you hit the follow button? And I'll repay the favor by continuing to book the best and most exclusive conversations on this topic. Please enjoy the episode, and always remember, you're not broken, just different, and you have always been enough. [upbeat music] I've never started a podcast like this before, and I w- wanted to read to you a letter that I was sent by a viewer of the ADHD Chatter podcast that actually changed how I think about ADHD.