That 401st Episode: The Most Chaotic Episode Yet, Mystery Guests & MAD Dressing Room Tales | EP. 401
5/6/20261 hr 28 min
On this week’s 401st episode special of the Peter Crouch Podcast, Pete, Sids, and Chris celebrate hitting an unbelievable milestone… by completely losing control of the show.
First up is Portsmouth legend and cult hero Kit Man Kev, who delivers an all-time segment. From washing players’ kits for cash, to lifting sofas over balconies, to wild dressing room stories and boxing sessions with players — Kev gives a brutally honest take on how football has changed, why “the game’s gone,” and what modern players are missing.
Next in is Nortei Nortey, where the lads are immediately apologetic for a previous episode’s “funny name” antics… Nortei brings a different footballing perspective with stories from his career, connections to the lads, and a look into Dagenham & Redbridge’s recent takeover.
Then things take another left turn as Felix White (The Maccabees) joins — blending football, music, and podcasting worlds. There’s talk of FA Cup obsession, crossover culture, and even a cheeky callback to Crouchy previously slagging off his podcast… before Felix quite literally plays the episode out with a fantastic live musical moment.
No script, no structure — just three surprise guests, unbelievable stories, and a 401st episode special that proves sometimes the best episodes are the ones where nobody knows what’s coming next.
Chumbawamba
00:00 - Intro & 401 episode milestone explained
03:00 - Reflecting on podcast origins & early days
04:00 - The “Peteroni” glass reveal (long pint glass)
05:00 - First pour attempt goes horribly wrong
06:30 - Cheers to 401!
07:30 - Classic podcast memories & catchphrases
08:30 - Story: Crouch getting recognised post-retirement
09:30 - Glass-making video & behind-the-scenes reaction
11:30 - Attempting to “split the P”
13:00 - Format reveal: mystery guests with blindfolds
14:00 - Old VHS footage introduced
14:30 - Young Crouchy’s Chelsea interview clip reaction
15:30 - Ball boy footage & early career nostalgia
16:50 - Transition to first mystery guest
18:30 - Blindfold guessing begins
20:30 - Kev revealed: “heartbeat of Portsmouth”
23:00 - Early Crouch days: living alone & being looked after
24:30 - Sofa lifting through balcony story
26:00 - Kev’s backstory
30:30 - Stories about legendary players
32:30 - Dressing room fights & boxing stories
37:00 - “Game’s gone” discussion begins
38:30 - Modern football vs old-school mentality
40:00 - Smoking, culture & changes in football
41:30 - Tribute to Portsmouth fans & emotional goodbye
43:30 - Kev leaves & reaction from the lads
44:30 - Second guest teased
46:00 - Clues: football links, connections to hosts
48:00 - Identity slowly pieced together
49:00 - Nortei Nortey revealed
50:00 - Football journey & connections discussion
51:30 - Talking career paths & recent football experiences
53:00 - Banter about mutual links & teams
54:30 - Short but lively segment wraps up
55:30 - Third guest teased (non-football world hints)
56:00 - Clues: podcast, music, crossover with sport
57:45 - Big clue: FA Cup book reference
58:10 - Felix White revealed (The Maccabees)
01:05:00 - Felix White segment continues: football + music crossover chat
01:07:00 - Podcast banter & shared industry stories
01:08:30 - Felix reflects on football culture & storytelling
01:09:00 - Felix plays live music / plays the episode out 🎶
01:10:20 - Reactions to the performance & wrap-up with Felix
01:11:10 - Transition into Paddy Power segment
01:12:00 - “Wives Called” segment introduced
01:24:30 - Final laughs & wrapping the segment
01:28:11 - End of episode
Special thanks to Lumsdale Glass for the amazing Peteroni glasses: https://www.lumsdaleglass.co.uk/
For more Peter Crouch:
Twitter - https://twitter.com/petercrouch
Therapy Crouch - https://www.youtube.com/@thetherapycrouch
For more Chris Stark
Twitter - https://twitter.com/Chris\_Stark
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/chrisstark/
For more Steve Sidwell
Twitter - https://twitter.com/sjsidwell
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/stevesidwell14
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Clips
Transcript preview
First 90 secondsPeter Crouch· Host0:00
Hello, and welcome to That Peter Crouch Podcast. A special edition here.
Steve Sidwell· Host0:04
Mm.
Peter Crouch· Host0:05
Steve Sidwell is with me, and, uh, and Chris Stark, as usual. Now, this is very, very our podcast, I would say. [laughs] Um, we had a little discussion, I think it was just pre James Milner episode, of the... We must be... We've done a lot of podcasts. We discussed it for a little while.
Steve Sidwell· Host0:20
Yeah.
Peter Crouch· Host0:21
Uh, we said, "We must be coming up to almost 10 years." Potentially, I don't know, a milestone. And then it was, it was added up, and we realized it was 400 episodes.
Steve Sidwell· Host0:30
Incredible.
Peter Crouch· Host0:31
But we realized that on the 400th episode. [laughs] [laughs] So we thought we'd celebrate 401.
Steve Sidwell· Host0:40
[laughs] It's new.
Peter Crouch· Host0:41
401 is the new... In my opinion, it, I think should be, it should be the new everything.
Steve Sidwell· Host0:46
Yep. So what, what, what, in what way?
Peter Crouch· Host0:48
F- I think Levi's 401s.
Steve Sidwell· Host0:50
[laughs] Yeah.
Chris Stark· Host0:51
Yeah.
Peter Crouch· Host0:51
I think the- Okay ... CheckAdart should be 401.
Chris Stark· Host0:53
[laughs] Do you, do you encourage people to have, let's say a 40... big 41st?
Steve Sidwell· Host0:58
Big 41st.
Peter Crouch· Host0:59
Oh, that's good.
Chris Stark· Host0:59
What you doing for your 41st sort of vibes.
Steve Sidwell· Host1:01
Yeah. Yeah.
Peter Crouch· Host1:02
Yeah, I would say.
Chris Stark· Host1:02
Rather than your 40th.
Peter Crouch· Host1:03
Yeah.
Chris Stark· Host1:03
You, you, you switch it on its head.
Peter Crouch· Host1:05
I think so, yeah. And I think, you know, like, the 401, like, you know Premier League appearances, everyone's obsessed with like 500.
Chris Stark· Host1:10
Yeah.
Peter Crouch· Host1:10
400, when to 401.
Steve Sidwell· Host1:11
When to 401.
Peter Crouch· Host1:12
We'll have more people. It'd be- Yeah ... everyone would be happier.
Chris Stark· Host1:14
Yeah.
Peter Crouch· Host1:15
It'd be more achievable.
Chris Stark· Host1:16
If you're booking a hotel room, it's the number to get.
Peter Crouch· Host1:19
Room 401.
Chris Stark· Host1:20
You're gonna be lucky in the 401 if you get the... specifically request the 401.
Peter Crouch· Host1:23
When you want to get rid of something, room 401.
Chris Stark· Host1:25
Yeah.
Steve Sidwell· Host1:26
[laughs] Oh, this, this, this is a go-getter, isn't it? There's loads