Strategic Toilet Breaks, Relationship Drama & Fairy P*rn! Abbey and Peter’s Ask Us Anything!
3/5/202627 min
On today’s episode of The Therapy Crouch, Abbey and Peter are answering your burning questions in another chaotic Ask Us Anything special - and nothing is off limits.
The pod kicks off with a listener dealing with what can only be described as “strategic bowel syndrome”, as one husband mysteriously disappears to the toilet every single time parenting duties begin. Abbey has a surprisingly brutal solution involving adult nappies, while Pete shares his own suspicious bathroom habits.
Elsewhere, the pair help a listener who’s struggling to pull at the races, debate whether it’s ever okay to stay friends with an ex, and give advice to someone whose dad has completely taken over their wedding plans after offering to pay for it.
There’s also a surprisingly deep discussion about AI robots in the home, Abbey reveals what it’s really like walking the runway as a model during fashion week, and the team share their most awkward cinema experiences – including sneaking McDonald’s into the theatre and a dog causing absolute chaos mid-movie.
And in one of the strangest dilemmas yet, Pete discovers the bizarre world of fantasy romance books, as Abbey explains why so many women are hooked on these wildly popular stories.
If you want to submit a question for the podcast – hit the link below.
00:00 Introduction
01:20 “Strategic Bowel Syndrome” Husband
04:20 Dating Advice For A Single Guy
06:00 Dad Taking Over The Wedding
08:30 Would You Have A Robot At Home?
12:05 Abbey’s Runway Advice For Models
14:10 Staying Friends With Your Ex
17:00 Dog Chaos In The Cinema
20:00 Sneaking Food Into Movies
22:00 The Rise Of Fantasy Romance Books
25:00 Romance Films vs Real Relationships
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Clips
Transcript preview
First 90 secondsPeter Crouch· Host0:00
Utter filth. I wake up to the sound of these fairies doing unspeakable things to each other.
Abbey Clancy· Host0:05
There's been a, a huge surge in this fantasy erotica, which is like dragons and octopuses.
Peter Crouch· Host0:12
Octopussy.
Abbey Clancy· Host0:14
Octopus. Ugh, that's so creepy.
Peter Crouch· Host0:16
Creepy?
Abbey Clancy· Host0:16
Yeah.
Peter Crouch· Host0:16
You're the one talking about [censored] fairy porn.
Abbey Clancy· Host0:19
You shouldn't be saying the word pussy at forty-five. This is not- I'll say, I'll say, I'll say it for as long as I like. You- Am I right?
Peter Crouch· Host0:25
[upbeat music] Remember guys, if you're really enjoying this top quality content that we're producing, um, hit subscribe. It helps.
Abbey Clancy· Host0:33
[singing] Ask me anything.
Peter Crouch· Host0:36
Trevor.
Abbey Clancy· Host0:36
Hello, and welcome to the Therapy Crouch: Ask Us Anything with me, Abbey Clancy.
Peter Crouch· Host0:41
Me, Peter Crouch.
Abbey Clancy· Host0:42
And we're still Ross-less. Still got our Johnny boy.
Johnny· Panelist0:46
Boo.
Abbey Clancy· Host0:47
Boo. Are you enjoying being back in the hot seat?
Peter Crouch· Host0:50
No.
Johnny· Panelist0:50
N-no, not really.
Abbey Clancy· Host0:52
Why not?
Johnny· Panelist0:54
'Cause I've got me a whole other day of work to do when I finish this full day's worth of work, so it's like double bubble. Two days- Oh, doubled up ... I've got to double off, so.
Peter Crouch· Host1:02
It's not really a chore, this is... I-it's- No, this is like a fucking- ... a privilege ...
Johnny· Panelist1:05
day off, yeah.
Peter Crouch· Host1:06
Yeah.
Abbey Clancy· Host1:06
Exactly.
Johnny· Panelist1:07
It's a day off. It's easy.
Peter Crouch· Host1:08
Chatting to us, isn't it?
Johnny· Panelist1:09
Chatting to you two boys.
Peter Crouch· Host1:10
Unreal. [laughing] [laughing] Ask us anything.
Abbey Clancy· Host1:13
Ask me stuff.
Peter Crouch· Host1:14
Okay.
Johnny· Panelist1:14
No, I am enjoying it. It's, it's, it's- You are ... nice to be back.
Abbey Clancy· Host1:17
Good, good.
Peter Crouch· Host1:17
Tell your face. [laughing] [laughing] "Hi, Abbey and Pete. Please keep being on, because this is mortifying at my wife's."
Abbey Clancy· Host1:26
Oh my god, what?
Peter Crouch· Host1:27
"I'm at my wit's end." [gasping] "My husband