Should I Have Another Baby?
4/6/202646 min
When we become parents, many of us quietly promise ourselves that we won't be like our parents. We're going to do it differently. This week’s caller finds herself wrestling with a deeper question: Is her longing for another child born from genuine desire or from defiance? After a traumatic start to motherhood, she's now yearning for another child. But beneath that yearning lies the doubt: Am I doing this for me, or to prove that I’m not like her? Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They are edited for time, clarity, and anonymity. If you have a question you would like to talk through with Esther, send a voice memo to producer@estherperel.com. Producer’s Note: When our anonymous guests do a session with Esther for the podcast, it is an act of generosity for everyone who listens. These sessions are meant not only to support the people in the room with Esther, but all of us who learn from their stories. Our stories have many chapters, and what you hear is just one moment in someone’s journey. So even though the sessions are anonymous, please remember that real people are behind them and they may be reading your comments. Also, please join me on Entre Nous, my new home on Substack for anyone who wants to live, love, and work with more connection and imagination. I invite you to sign up and become a free or paid member at estherperel.substack.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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First 90 secondsEsther Perel· Host0:01
In this following session, we discuss assault, and I want you to know this before you listen.
Speaker 10:09
Hi, Esther. [gentle music] I am coming to you with a question at an interesting time in my life. [laughs] I am mother of two beautiful children, three-and-a-half-year-old twins, and I am finding myself, and have been finding myself for a long time, longing for another child. This longing is complicated by the fact that I had a very scary and intense and dangerous pregnancy with the twins, a very traumatic birth that has left real scars behind, and a period immediately in postpartum where my children were born with health problems that thankfully have been resolved. But there were a few months in the beginning where we didn't know if one of my children in particular, if it would have an impact on their length of life. And there were a lot of doctor's appointments and things to figure out related to these health issues that the two of them had. And my question is about how can I move forward with another pregnancy without bringing in a