Scheduled Sex: Hot or Not? | Szn. 4 Ep. 15

Jen Kennedy· Host0:00

[upbeat music] Hi, it's Dr. Jen Kennedy. I'm a sexologist and couples therapist. The Pleasure Project is about sex and relationships. That includes desire, dysfunction, dissatisfaction, exploration, toys, and trends. Sometimes I'll enlist other experts, sometimes it'll just be me. We'll increase your insight and enhance your pleasure, so tune in. [upbeat music] One of the most common suggestions therapists make to couples who are struggling with intimacy is something that many people initially hate, scheduled sex. The reaction is usually pretty predictable. Isn't that the least sexy idea imaginable? If we have to schedule sex, doesn't that mean that the passion is gone? But here's the reality. In long-term relationships, intimacy often gets pushed aside by work, kids, stress, and exhaustion. Scheduling connection can actually protect the relationship by signaling something important. We matter enough to make space for this. It can also reduce conflict, especially for couples where one partner wants sex more than the other one does. Instead of negotiation or disappointment, there's a shared structure, and it supports something we don't talk about enough, responsive desire. Many people don't feel spontaneous desire out of nowhere. They start to feel desire after connection and arousal begin. So today, we're talking about scheduled sex, why it can work, the traps to avoid, and how to do it in