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The Imperfects

Reuben Williams - What Happened After My Sexual Assault

5/10/20261 hr 29 min

Can you think of a moment that turned your life into ‘before’ and ‘after’?

For Reuben Williams, that moment was not his sexual assault, rather, the decision he made in the aftermath to pursue justice.

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Incredibly vulnerable, Reuben talks Hugh, Ryan and Josh through what it felt like in the 24 hours after the assault, how he knew, undeniably, what happened to him was wrong, and why he chose to report it.

We talk about the intricacies of healing, privilege, and having a world class difficult conversation with the ones you love.

And then, Josh asks Reuben how you can best show up for your friends who might be going through something similar.

Reuben, it was such a privilege having you in the studio.

If you want to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link - https://youtu.be/okQnOwV2MJE 

0:00 – An Imperfect Meet-Cute
6:44 – The night of the assault
19:28 – Identity, privilege, and idealism
33:09 – Family Dynamics
41:16 - World Class Difficult Conversation
47:39 – The Waiting Game
59:15 – Reuben’s Letter
1:04:24 – A divine test
1:10:30 – Just help
1:18:46 – How can you be a better friend?

🫖Imperfects episodes mentioned on this episode

🎧Things to listen to

💻Things to check out

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The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Clips

Confrontation on the street
Leaving the family chat
Ultimatum and redemption
Letter to 24-year-old self
Letting go of justice
‘That sentence was bullshit’
Report it like any crime
Suck the marrow from life
How friends can truly help
Notes app instinct

Transcript preview

First 90 seconds

  1. Ryan Shelton· Host0:00

    The following episode of The Imperfects features a conversation about sexual assault. If this is too much for you right now, then we suggest you skip this one and come back when you're ready.

  2. Reuben Williams· Guest0:08

    [gentle music] At first I thought, "This is a dream. This isn't happening to you right now." And I, like, start regaining consciousness and, um, I realize, like, "You are i- in a dangerous situation right now, that you're not safe. Holy shit, you've just been sexually assaulted" In 2019, Reuben Williams made a decision to pursue justice.

  3. Hugh van Cuylenburg· Host0:29

    This decision not only changed his own life, but inspired change to the lives of many others.

  4. Reuben Williams· Guest0:34

    I thought, "If it gets back to me that he's done this to somebody else and traumatized them for the rest of their life, and you, Reuben, could have stopped him in his tracks, you're probably gonna feel 10 times worse than you do right now." And so that's when I thought, "I'm gonna make a statement." The hardest part of that was, um, was Dad.

  5. Hugh van Cuylenburg· Host0:50

    You mean telling Dad?

  6. Reuben Williams· Guest0:51

    Telling Dad, yeah. I get in my car, start driving. I make it about 100 meters down the road before I have to pull over because I'm crying so hard I can't see. When you dismiss the believability of victims, you dismiss your own son. I was really worried about a few key things. Like, um, you know, what would it be like seeing my perpetrator for the first time?

  7. Hugh van Cuylenburg· Host1:12

    Yeah.

  8. Reuben Williams· Guest1:12

    What would it be like being in a courtroom for the first time?

  9. Hugh van Cuylenburg· Host1:15

    Mm-hmm.

  10. Reuben Williams· Guest1:16

    And so I wrote a letter to myself.

  11. Hugh van Cuylenburg· Host1:18

    Have you got the letter on you?

  12. Reuben Williams· Guest1:20

    Yeah. I've, yeah, I've got it here. Um, yeah. Okay.

  13. Josh van Cuylenburg· Host1:25

    This is the Vulnerabilitea House.

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