R' Tzadok Katz : The Shidduch Lie Nobody Wants to Admit
6/6/20261 hr 25 min
In this episode of the Meaningful People Podcast, Nachi Gordon sits down with Rabbi Tzadok Katz, a shadchan with over 23 years of experience, for one of the most honest and entertaining conversations about shidduchim you'll ever hear. From speed dating and picture sharing to the stigma facing working boys and the pressure that's been built into the system, Rabbi Katz pulls no punches about what's actually broken, and what's working better than people think.
The conversation covers everything from how technology has completely transformed the shadchan's job, to why girls are maturing faster than boys and what needs to change, to the halacha of sharing information and how buried details may be behind most early divorces. Rabbi Katz also shares his philosophy on excitement, readiness, and why "getting the job done" is more complicated than it sounds. Whether you're a single, working with singles, or just fascinated by how the system actually works behind the scenes, this episode is a must-listen.
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Clips
Transcript preview
First 90 secondsNachi Gordon· Host0:00
Everyone's favorite topic, shidduchim. Who built the system?
Tzadok Katz· Guest0:02
It evolved by itself.
Nachi Gordon· Host0:04
Ah, come on. That's not a good answer.
Tzadok Katz· Guest0:05
Are you s- If there's one thing, that magic wand, you can change and it would adapt across the spectrum of the entire system, what would it be? Personally, I'm not a big fan of speed dating. It took three hours. I made it into six minutes. I think that you're hurting a lot of the girls, and a lot of the boys. It messes up your brain. I'll tell you one thing which I think has to change dramatically. A good, frum, working boy should be accepted as You're getting not just a guy that's second class. You're getting a first-rate guy that's working. It eats me up inside, 'cause I see how the stigma makes a difference.
Nachi Gordon· Host0:31
Do you deal with boys that are staying in yeshiva because of shidduchim?
Tzadok Katz· Guest0:34
Yeah, I think so.
Nachi Gordon· Host0:35
You should tell him you're playing a dangerous game right now- So I, I- ... 'cause if this is not who you are, she will see right through you.
Tzadok Katz· Guest0:39
Who cares? It's a really hard decision because at the end of the day, there is a real part that, that a lot of girls will say yes to him. It's a real hashkafa question. My side could do a better shidduch if I'm in yeshiva, even if I'm not really- That's just not honest, though. [laughs] Um- Is there a lot of dishonesty in your field of work?
Nachi Gordon· Host0:55
This episode is sponsored by PZ Deals. Never, ever pay full price again. Download the PZ Deals app right now on your phone. The next time you're about to make a purchase, maybe from, I don't know, Amazon, you're gonna head to the PZ Deals app and you're gonna get the best prices. Yes, you can save 20, 30, 40, maybe 50% on certain items. Why would you pay full price? Well, you don't have to when you have the PZ Deals app. So download that right now. This episode, guys, is everyone's favorite topic, shidduchim. And me and Rabbi Tzadok Katz get into it big time,