Kristin Scott Thomas – ‘Having children allowed me to see where I’d gone wrong’
6/24/202653 min
In a career spanning four decades, Dame Kristin Scott Thomas has become one of Britain’s most celebrated actors: Four Weddings and a Funeral, The English Patient, The Horse Whisperer, Tell No One and Slow Horses, alongside acclaimed stage work including her Olivier‑winning performance in The Seagull.
Yet her path was far from straightforward: discouraged at drama school, she moved to Paris as an au pair and rebuilt her training from scratch. Her childhood had already been shaped by profound loss after the deaths of her father and stepfather in near‑identical accidents. She has now channelled these experiences into her directorial debut, My Mother’s Wedding, which she also co‑wrote and stars in, alongside Scarlett Johansson, Sienna Miller and Emily Beecham.
We talk about her early grief, the emotional armour she built as a teenager, the chaotic experience of filming with Prince, making My Mother’s Wedding, the power of women writing women, her unforgettable Fleabag monologue and the joy and clarity she has found in her 60s.
✨ IN THIS EPISODE:
00:00 Intro
03:15 Reclaiming a Tragic Narrative
04:59 Joy in her 60s
06:22 Co Writing With Her Husband
07:03 Animation and Childhood Memory
09:07 Casting and Creative Reunions
12:23 Failure One: Prince Film Debut
17:06 Fame Theater and Radical Roles
24:09 Under the Cherry Moon Lessons
25:28 Failure Two: Teenage Grief
26:24 Childhood Losses
27:58 Eldest Sibling Burden
28:37 Acting Through Sadness
29:59 English Patient Reflections
33:19 Four Weddings Role
36:39 Therapy and Healing
43:41 Grief Advice and Faith
45:45 Football and Identity
49:16 Aging and Gratitude
💬 QUOTES TO REMEMBER:
“I wanted to take my past and make it into something positive.”
“If people enjoy what you do, it’s not bad.”
“Having children allowed me to see where I’d gone wrong and where I was beating myself up.”
🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS:
Kristin’s directorial debut, My Mother’s Wedding, is now available in UK cinemas and streaming platforms such as Amazon Prime and Apple TV
Join the How To Fail community: www.howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content
Elizabeth’s Substack: www.theelizabethday.substack.com
📚 WANT MORE?
Rosamund Pike - this episode explores how her career has resisted tidy narratives, how she’s navigated fame without reading reviews for 25 years and how her so‑called “failures” – not getting married, struggling with fear, raising two sons while working, even a disastrous attempt at cooking a rabbit – have shaped her. It’s ultimately about a woman interrogating identity, courage and the stories she tells herself:http://swap.fm/l/tePOA4HZ2PoaBBwudnv7
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Clips
Transcript preview
First 90 secondsKristin Scott Thomas· Guest0:00
Well, I was very good at holding it in, at not letting anybody, "Don't cry in class. Don't do this. Don't do that. Don't. Keep it all back. Be the funniest in the room." Having children allowed me to see where I'd gone wrong and where I was beating myself up and where I was, you know, doing, um, unnecessary sabotage and damaging. And of course, because I'd been used to [laughs] father's dying, um, and I'd kind of grown up with it and got over it and, as I said, kept going, um, grieving for my mother was just like a, being run over by a tank.
Elizabeth Day· Host0:40
This episode of How to Fail is brought to you by Dove Whole Body Deodorant. Welcome to How to Fail, the podcast that looks beneath the hood of success to see the failure that lies underneath. Before we get started on this episode, please do remember to subscribe, follow, and like so that you never miss a single conversation.
Speaker 30:58
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