Kill List

Jack Rhysider· Host0:00

I used to live and work in Las Vegas. Wha- what a town that is. I'm so glad that I got out of there. It's like, uh, I had a hole in my pocket all the time and I could never find where it was. (instrumental music plays) Anyway, I was playing craps one day, this is where you throw the dice, it's a big table, and this, um, this frail old man came up and he was playing too, and he was betting big. He was getting wild with his money, having a good time, and I was rolling the dice, and he was making money off of my dice rolls, so he was liking me and we started chatting it up. But there was this dude behind him, a, a big guy. Not a muscular man, but a guy who probably loves cheeseburgers, if you know what I'm saying. And I asked him, "Hey, man, you wanna get in on this game? I got a hot roll going." He didn't say anything. And the old guy turns to me and he says, "Oh, don't mind him. He's my bodyguard." And I was like, "Oh, really? This guy is your bodyguard?" And then the old man told me something that surprised me. He said, "Yeah, but I don't actually pay him to protect me if there's actually a fight." And I was like, "What? (laughs) You don't pay him to rescue you out of anything?" "No, no. I can't afford that kind of bodyguard. This guy just stands next to me, and if something goes down, he knows he doesn't need to step in." And I'm like, "Well, hold on a second. Why are you paying someone to stand next to you?" And he said, "To be my bodyguard." (laughs) And I was like, "No, but he's not guarding you, though." And the old man said, "Yeah, but no one knows that. Everyone sees him next to me and they don't mess with me because he's there." And I was like, "Does that work?" And he said,