I Love My Kids... But I Miss My Freedom
7/6/202618 min
Motherhood can be beautiful and grief-filled at the exact same time.
In this deeply honest episode, Sarah and Whitney talk about something many moms feel but are terrified to admit: missing their freedom, independence, identity, and old life after becoming mothers.
This is not about regret. This is about the very real identity shift that happens in motherhood.
Together they discuss:
- loss of independence after kids
- identity changes in motherhood
- matrescence and emotional shifts
- why moms feel guilty admitting this
- resentment, burnout, and invisible sacrifices
- reconnecting with yourself outside of motherhood
If you’ve ever thought:
“I love my kids…but I miss parts of who I used to be,”
... You are not alone.
This episode is a reminder that grieving pieces of your old self does not make you a bad mom — it makes you human.
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Clips
Transcript preview
First 90 secondsSarah Parkhurst· Host0:00
[gentle music] Hey, guys. Welcome back to Preview Alliance Podcast. This is Sarah and Whitney. And hooray, it's Fourth of July, Whitney.
Whitney Gay· Host0:16
Yay. We made it through- And we- ... another holiday We made it.
Sarah Parkhurst· Host0:21
And we are gonna do this episode and it's, Whitney, what did you say? Lack of independence?
Whitney Gay· Host0:27
Yes, it's a lack of Independence Day for us moms because we, we do not get to be alone. We do not get to be independent. We don't get to do things independently.
Sarah Parkhurst· Host0:36
Yes, it is.
Whitney Gay· Host0:38
Yeah.
Sarah Parkhurst· Host0:38
I love my kids, but I miss my freedom, or I miss who- Yeah ... I was. Or I realize that person before kids is never coming back.
Whitney Gay· Host0:46
Right.
Sarah Parkhurst· Host0:46
And she's not.
Whitney Gay· Host0:47
Hard.
Sarah Parkhurst· Host0:47
And it's a new version.
Whitney Gay· Host0:49
Right.
Sarah Parkhurst· Host0:49
And I think this whole conversation is just kinda normalizing what a lot of people feel. It's a loss- Yes ... cause of happiness, a grief of being, like, at the same time- Right ... of like, "Hey, what happened? Um, [laughs] I used to- Right ... be able to use the restroom by myself." Or- Yeah ... I used to be able to make decisions about my life or- Right ... my, maybe m- even, like, my career- Yeah ... and that's gone. Or it could be the fact of just the identity shift, the autonomy shift, and then there's a lot of sacrifices, invisibly and visible, that occur in motherhood. But it- Absolutely ... it's really about, you know, putting away that older version of yourself and a