How to stop dwelling on early dating mistakes | Matt Monday
6/29/202617 min
Have you ever convinced yourself that one dating mistake cost you someone who could have been really special?
Maybe you replayed the texts. The conversation. The moment you wish you could take back. And because genuine connection can feel so rare, you started believing you'd ruined your chance.
It's a painful place to be, but it's also where our minds tend to tell us stories that simply aren't true.
In this week's episode, I talk about why we obsess over early dating mistakes, how a scarcity mindset can make us believe we've lost our only chance at love, and why one moment almost never tells you what a relationship could have become.
If you've ever struggled to let go of someone because you couldn't stop thinking, "If only I hadn't done that..." I hope this gives you a different way of looking at it.
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Transcript preview
First 90 secondsMatthew Hussey· Host0:00
[upbeat music] What's this? A video that begins in the book nook? [laughs] Well, it must be your lucky day. Our story today may be one you relate to. It's about a man named John. Let me know in the comments if you do. John went through a terrible breakup three years ago, during which he struggled to state his needs, draw boundaries, and speak up for himself. He told himself he would never be that guy again, and spent the next three years working on himself, his communication skills, and his attachment style. He watched all of the videos, listened to the podcasts, read all the books, watched all my programs, came to my retreat, and then he met a beautiful woman at a yoga class. They went for coffee. One thing led to another, and John and Sarah lived happily ever after. [book closing] That's not how the story ended, is it? Because John isn't in this book. This book is nothing but a prop. Here's what really happened. One day, John met a woman in his yoga class. They went for coffee. It lasted five hours. It turned into dinner. She was receptive, warm. She liked John. But after two great dates and tons of texts in between, Sarah went quiet. John messaged her on a Saturday afternoon saying, "We should try that new coffee shop if you're down," and then didn't hear