How to Find "The One": The Science of Dating with Tim Molnar
2/16/202645 min
Modern dating can feel exhausting. On one hand, there’s the seemingly endless swiping that leads to dating app burnout; on the other, there’s what can feel like the insurmountable challenge of meeting someone in real life.
But what if finding love is less about fate — and more about strategy? Dr. Laurie sits down with behavioral scientist and dating coach Tim Molnar, author of Date Smarter: A Strategic Guide to Navigating Modern Romance, to explore what the research really says about how to meet the right person, build genuine connection, and avoid common dating mistakes.
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First 90 secondsLaurie Santos· Host0:00
[intro music] Pushkin. [upbeat music] Admit it, at some point you probably fantasized about meeting somebody that you really clicked with, and in that fantasy, things are really great. You're into them, they're into you. You get a little jolt of joy every time you see a text from their number. Over time, you start to think, "Huh, I might love this person," or even, "This is the human I'm going to spend the rest of my life with." But of course, there are some steps you need to go through before it gets to that point.
Tim Molnar· Guest0:42
Before that happens, I'm going to have to have a relationship at all. And before that's going to happen, I'm going to have to go on a date. And before that's going to happen, I am going to have to get a date.
Laurie Santos· Host0:55
This is Tim Molnar, a social scientist turned dating coach in Boulder, Colorado. Before Tim became an expert on the science of dating, he was pretty much the opposite.
Tim Molnar· Guest1:05
I had, I think up until the age of 28, 29, never asked someone out. My initial approach to love was very much based on this idea that love will happen when it happens. I just wasn't very proactive. I was spending a lot of time pursuing self-actualization, and so trying to make sure that I was getting into the right grad