How To Break Free From Codependency And Stop Abandoning Yourself l Mark Groves
6/4/202655 min
Join me live for 8 days https://cathyheller.samcart.com/products/born-for-this If you have ever pretzeled yourself to keep the peace, avoided a hard conversation, or woken up wondering how you got so far from yourself, this episode is for you. I sat down with human connection expert and author Mark Groves to talk about codependency, self abandonment, shame, and what it actually looks like to stop leaving yourself to belong to other people. We get into why telling the truth is the most radical act of self reclamation, how to know when you have outgrown an adaptive strategy, and why the boundary that feels like it will break everything is usually the thing that sets both people free. • Join me live for 8 days https://cathyheller.samcart.com/products/born-for-this • Follow Mark Groves on Instagram @createthelove • Visit Mark at https://www.createthelove.com/ • Get your ticket to Cathy Heller Live: Divine Download in LA, August 2-3 https://cathyheller.com/summit/ • Join Cathy's Circle https://www.cathyheller.com/cathys-circle/ • Follow Cathy on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/cathy.heller/ • Want to work with Cathy? https://www.cathyheller.com/start-here/ Timestamps: 0:00 - Intro 1:38 - How Mark Groves Became a Human Connection Expert 3:44 - The Hardest Conversation He Ever Had (And Why It Led Him Back to Himself) 5:16 - Cathy's Codependency Wake-Up Call: "I Need to Be in All Seven Places" 7:03 - Why Belonging Wins Over Authenticity Every Time (And What to Do About It) 11:43 - Why Women Especially Struggle to Ask for What They Need 13:10 - "I Leave Me to Be With People Because I'm Afraid They'll Leave Me" 17:52 - The Dinner Party Where Two Strangers Admitted They Were Addicts — And It Was the Best Night Ever 21:21 - How to Get Into Your Shame Instead of Running From It 23:50 - The Meditation That Changed Everything: Welcoming Home Your Younger Self 27:09 - Going Back to Meet Your Seven-Year-Old Self 29:53 - How He Went From Viral Blog to Video — And Why He Was Terrified to Make the Switch 35:44 - The Biggest Way We Self-Sabotage (It's Not What You Think) 37:29 - Why Receiving Love Can Feel More Terrifying Than Losing It 40:11 - What to Do When You Ask Yourself What You Want and the Answer Is "I Don't Know" 45:39 - Stop Trying to Heal Other People — Inspiration Is Born From Self-Transformation 53:17 - Six Takeaways to Carry With You
Clips
Transcript preview
First 90 secondsMark Groves· Guest0:00
That's what it means to be in integrity, is to live at your highest level of wisdom that's available to you, at your highest level of knowledge. And it's, like, not easy, [laughs] but it's freedom.
Cathy Heller· Host0:10
[instrumental music] Hey, guys, it's Cathy Heller. Welcome back to Everything is Energy. If you spent your whole life being that person that everybody likes, you're always easy to be around, you are somebody that sometimes is people-pleasing, this episode is something that you wanna listen to. Mark Groves is one of the most honest voices. He is so kind. He is so authentic. He's so wise. And today we're gonna talk about codependency, and we're gonna talk about how we abandon ourselves. After this conversation, you're gonna understand why sometimes you say yes when you mean no, and where you can actually show up and be the person that you came here to be. Take a listen. Mark, I'm so happy you're here. Welcome.
Mark Groves· Guest0:51
Thank you. I'm so excited to be here.
Cathy Heller· Host0:54
Anyone who's ever seen anything of yours loves you.
Mark Groves· Guest0:57
Well, I have a couple inbox messages that might not [laughs] be- Thank you, Jennifer? Yeah, yeah. No, I appreciate that, I really do. Thank you.
Cathy Heller· Host1:05
Part of it is that you embody love so well. You are so genuine and brave, and you have the conversations that we all really, we need to learn to have. So I'm so glad that you're here. You created this, I wanna say it's like a movement, Create the Love, and it's working, Mark. It's working. You're helping a lot of people. So I think we should