How To Be Alone (And Actually Enjoy It) With Dee Salmin
4/29/202649 min
This week on Small Talk, we’re joined by host of The Hook Up, writer and author Dee Salmin to unpack modern dating and the art of being single. Drawing from her new book It’s Not Love, Actually, Dee breaks down why butterflies might actually be anxiety, why being the 'cool girl' never works and the subtle ways we shape ourselves to attract men. Plus, we get into attachment styles, the benefits of being alone and why learning to enjoy your own company might be the key to better relationships.
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First 90 secondsDee Salmin· Guest0:00
[upbeat music] A LiSTNR production. I fell in love with being alone, and I fell in love with myself. You know, before I had been like, "Oh, I'm a feminist, and I don't need no man," and whatever, but none of that was probably truly real.
Sarah· Host0:16
Yeah.
Dee Salmin· Guest0:16
Like, I was still on some level chasing men.
Sarah· Host0:20
[upbeat music] Hi, I'm Sarah, and this is Small Talk. It's not quite a news headline, but it is what the girls are talking about, and today I'm here with Dee Salmon. Welcome.
Dee Salmin· Guest0:35
Thank you so much.
Sarah· Host0:36
I'm so excited to have you on. For those who don't know Dee, I'm sure many people do, but you've been the host of The Hook Up for years, and you've just written a new book. I power-read it last night and throughout the last week, and I love it so, so much.
Dee Salmin· Guest0:52
Aw, thank you.
Sarah· Host0:53
Well done.
Dee Salmin· Guest0:53
Thank you so much.
Sarah· Host0:54
It's- It's such a weird feeling.
Dee Salmin· Guest0:56
It's like everything I've ever thought and felt and learned from The Hook Up and my own life and my friends' lives, like, just on paper, and so it'll be really interesting to see how people perceive it and what they think.
Sarah· Host1:06
Real- uh, what, what have you heard so far?
Dee Salmin· Guest1:08
A lot of people who have read it have just been saying that they felt really seen.
Sarah· Host1:12
Mm.
Dee Salmin· Guest1:13
I've had friends message me being like, "I'm bawling my eyes out," and I'm like, "Oh, no, I don't wanna make people cry." [laughs] One of my friends was like, "I don't keep promises to myself, and you write about how you should," and I was like, "No, no, no, like, yes, that's a good... like, that's a good thing- [laughs] ... but I don't wanna upset anyone." [laughs] [laughs] So it's been really interesting 'cause you