How Bryan Shelton Raised Ben to Think Like a Champion | The Insight
7/22/202619 min
Ben Shelton did not seriously choose tennis until he was 11. His father and coach, Bryan Shelton, reveals how he helped build Ben’s extraordinary confidence—without controlling him, limiting his personality or coaching the talent out of him.
From setting his own alarm for 6 a.m. practices to leaving college early and eventually asking his father to join him on tour, Ben’s journey was built around responsibility, independence and belief.
Bryan explains why he only gives Ben “five or ten percent” of what he knows, why he smiles from the player box even when things are going badly, and why parents should ask more questions instead of constantly telling young athletes what to do.
This is The Insight: the most powerful lessons from our complete conversation with Bryan Shelton.
Watch the full Bryan Shelton episode:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8JOp69bDfkg
CHAPTERS
00:00 Ben Didn’t Want to Play Tennis
01:24 The 6 A.M. Practice Rule
02:08 Developing the Person, Not Just the Player
03:05 Ben’s Unusual Confidence
04:18 Don’t Put Him in a Box
05:18 Raising the Floor Without Lowering the Ceiling
06:22 Keep Making the Right Mistakes 07:48 Why Ben Left College Early
10:23 “Dad, You Have to Come Out Here With Me”
10:50 Balancing Being a Father and Coach
12:12 Why Bryan Only Gives Ben 10%
12:54 Why Bryan Always Smiles
13:58 What Parents Project From the Player Box
15:24 Confidence Before Results
17:18 Bryan’s Advice to Parents
19:18 The Lesson Every Sports Parent Should Hear
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Clips
Transcript preview
First 90 secondsBryan Shelton· Guest0:00
Ben was not interested in tennis in the beginning. He said, "That will not be my sport, Dad." [laughs] "I'm gonna play football, I'm gonna play basketball, I'm gonna play baseball, but not tennis."
Borja Duran· Host0:09
[laughs] All the American sports.
Bryan Shelton· Guest0:11
Yes, all the American sports, and the team sports, and, uh, 'cause he's very social and- Hmm ... and so for him, I thought that was maybe a better path, you know- Okay ... to go the team route and not the, the individual tennis route, so.
Caroline Garcia· Host0:25
And how did he change his mind?
Bryan Shelton· Guest0:26
You know, he was very good in American football. Um, he was a quarterback on his team for five years, and I think he was 11 or around 11 years old when he said one day, because he saw his sister going to the tournaments on the weekends, in the finals in the United States, the finals a lot of times are on Mondays. And so if she did very well at the tournament, she would skip school on Monday. And I honestly think he was just jealous that- [laughs] ... she was able to miss one day of school each week, you know, 'cause she was doing well. And his sister has just thought, "Hey, Dad, do you mind if I start playing tennis with you and Emma?"
Caroline Garcia· Host1:02
[laughs] So he was quite late actually.
Borja Duran· Host1:04
She was late.
Bryan Shelton· Guest1:05
He's like, "Yeah, I'm gonna give one year off from football, and I'd like to, to play tennis with you guys."
Caroline Garcia· Host1:10
Quite late at the end, like 11, 12 or- Yeah, he was, yeah, he was 11 years old. And until then he was pre- not playing much other- He wasn't playing.
Bryan Shelton· Guest1:16
He was playing in the summer camp with us a little bit.
Caroline Garcia· Host1:18
Okay.
Bryan Shelton· Guest1:18
But during the year, not at all, no tournaments. Um, so yeah, and then he started training with us, and we trained very early in the mornings because I had to work all day. [laughs] And so