'Fergie is P Diddy's Side Piece?!?"
5/25/202658 min
On this week’s LuAnna: it’s another Bank Holiday, nobody’s working, and Lu has gone full proud mum because Crumble has officially graduated dog training with a medal. Anna, meanwhile, reckons she may be on the road to an MBE after a truly surreal career high at The King’s Trust Awards at the Royal Albert Hall, where she somehow ended up offering an antihistamine to the Queen.
Plus, there’s listener chaos involving a woman who deep-throated a frankfurter and a man who squeezed a turd. And as if that wasn’t enough, the girls get fully stuck into the bizarre allegation that Fergie was once P Diddy’s side piece, discover the deeply upsetting world of ball maxxing, and crown a new Weirdo of the Month.
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Transcript preview
First 90 secondsSpeaker 10:00
[upbeat music] This is a Global Player original podcast.
Anna Williamson· Host0:05
Be warned, it's Luanna, and this podcast contains honest, upfront opinions, rants, bants, and general explicit content, but you know you love it. It's a no from me, but I'm never here to kink shame.
Luisa Zissman· Host0:16
This has excited me beyond belief.
Anna Williamson· Host0:19
Lu for MP, Anna for MBE.
Imogen· Panelist0:21
It's so pink.
Anna Williamson· Host0:24
Oi, guys. There's a guy down there that can deep throat a sausage.
Luisa Zissman· Host0:27
That's love.
Anna Williamson· Host0:28
I- that is love.
Luisa Zissman· Host0:29
[upbeat music] Hello. Good morrow.
Anna Williamson· Host0:36
Good morning, everybody. Oh my goodness, we're towards the end of May already.
Luisa Zissman· Host0:40
Isn't that crazy?
Anna Williamson· Host0:41
We are like the ni- it- it's nearly Christmas.
Luisa Zissman· Host0:43
It's basically Christmas now.
Anna Williamson· Host0:44
Basically Christmas, guys. Yeah. Happy Christmas.
Imogen· Panelist0:46
[laughs] It's another bank holiday today.
Anna Williamson· Host0:49
It's another bank holiday.
Luisa Zissman· Host0:50
Nobody ever works in this country.
Anna Williamson· Host0:52
How many bank holidays are there?
Imogen· Panelist0:54
Not enough.
Luisa Zissman· Host0:54
Too many.
Anna Williamson· Host0:55
Ah. [laughs] [laughs] Love that.
Luisa Zissman· Host0:57
Nothing different from an employee and employer.
Anna Williamson· Host1:00
Yeah.
Imogen· Panelist1:01
Well, we have a lot at the beginning of the year- There's about six aren't there ... and then we have fuck all left.
Anna Williamson· Host1:04
There's one in September as well, isn't there?
Imogen· Panelist1:06
There's one at the end of August, and then- Yeah ... there's nothing till Christmas.
Luisa Zissman· Host1:09
Yeah, but at- Yeah ... Christmas there's a lot, no?
Imogen· Panelist1:11
There's, well, I think you get Christmas Day, Boxing Day- Boxing Day ... and then New Year's Day.
Anna Williamson· Host1:15
Can I just say, and I'm gonna- And that's the New Year's Day. And I- oh, yeah, and I know there's gonna be a lo- anyone that ha- the, the bugbear about bank holidays in particular is if you have kids in daycare nursery, right? Not even just school, right? 'Cause school is, like, obviously- Yeah ... free unless you're going to private