Episode 82: How to Love and Care for Every Enneagram Type w/ Abbey Howe
5/20/20261 hr 2 min
Most of us are giving love the way we want to receive it. And for a lot of people, that's where connection quietly breaks down. This week, Rachael and Jaisa sit down with Enneagram expert Abbey Howe to talk about one of the most practical and deeply human questions we can ask: how do I actually show up well for the people I care about?
Abbey walks through every Enneagram type and what each one genuinely needs to feel loved, safe, and cared for. This isn't surface-level personality talk. It's a real conversation about how each type is wired, what wounds they carry, and what kind of love actually lands for them. Whether you're trying to understand your partner, your friend, your kid, your parent, or yourself, this episode will shift how you see the people around you. Abbey brings both deep knowledge of Enneagram theory and a grounded, compassionate framework that makes it feel instantly applicable to your real relationships.
The Enneagram, when used well, is a tool for transformation and compassion. It helps us stop asking why people aren't more like us, and start asking what they actually need. This conversation touches on emotional healing, how our core fears shape the way we give and receive love, and how understanding type can create more safety, more depth, and more grace in every relationship in your life.
If this episode opened something up for you, share it with someone you love. And if you're not already subscribed to Spirit Outspoken, now is a great time. Leave us a review if you've been listening for a while. It means more than you know. And if you want to go deeper with us, join our community and newsletter at spiritoutspoken.com.
FOLLOW ABBEY & ORDER HER BOOK
- Find Abbey’s guided visual journal, My Enneagram Amazon
Barnes & Noble - Hire Abbey as an Enneagram Workshop Facilitator
- Follow Abbey on Instagram
If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to check out:
Episode 65: Created with Purpose: Faith & Astrology w/ Debra Silverman
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Clips
Transcript preview
First 90 secondsRachael Loney· Host0:00
What if the way you've been showing up for the people you love just isn't what they actually need? This week, we sat down with Abby Howe, Enneagram expert and author of My Enneagram: A Visual Guide to Find Your Personality Type, Stress Less, and Live Your Dreams. We explored how each of the nine Enneagram types gives and receives love differently, and why what feels like love to you might feel completely off to someone else. It's one of those conversations that made us want to immediately call people in our lives and say, "I get it now." This one is genuinely beneficial for every relationship in your life, your partner, your friends, your family, and they will thank you for listening. We just know you're going to love Abby's energy, her humor, and the fun she brings to this topic just as much as we did. And with that, let's dive in.
Abbey Howe· Guest0:47
[upbeat music] I have to say before we start, I am a, a little obsessed with you guys, so I just- Aw.
Jaisa Engasser· Host1:02
Oh, really?
Abbey Howe· Guest1:02
I think that, I, I come from a Christian background. I've had a big old journey with faith, and- Yeah ... I think what you're doing is really important, and it's a space that is needed and, um- Yeah ... I appreciate it. I like what you guys are doing.
Rachael Loney· Host1:18
Aw.
Jaisa Engasser· Host1:18
Oh my gosh.
Rachael Loney· Host1:18
Thank you. That means a lot.
Jaisa Engasser· Host1:19
It really does.
Rachael Loney· Host1:20
I have a question for you. I'm just gonna... We'll just go right in here. [chuckles] When I was looking up some stuff on you on, uh, on Instagram, it's interesting to me how