E265: Is This Cheating? (Part 3) Emotional Affairs, Secret Texts, and Sneaky DMs
6/18/202657 min
Have you and your partner ever actually sat down and defined what counts as cheating?
Most of us never do, which is exactly why the gray areas get so complicated.
We're back with Part 3 of Is This Cheating?, weighing in on your trickiest, most "wait, is that okay?" scenarios.
💛 In this episode, you'll hear:
- Why every couple has to define cheating for themselves, and the talks most people skip
- Real listener dilemmas: late-night drives, a secret sex-shop trip, and disappearing text threads
- The female-friendship situations that blur the line between platonic and something more
- Our honest take on the big one: does masturbation count as cheating?
- A rapid-fire round on nudes, dating apps "for friends," flirty DMs, and drunk Vegas kisses
- Why this is the perfect episode to play for your partner and talk through together
If you've ever felt unsure whether something crossed a line, you're not overreacting and you're not alone. The clearer you get on your own definition, the easier these conversations get.
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💛 Stay Connected
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Clips
Transcript preview
First 90 secondsXander Marin· Host0:00
Yeah, if y'all keep cheating, we'll keep doing these episodes.
Vanessa Marin· Host0:02
[laughs] [laughs] I mean, please stop cheating, and please stop doing bad things. [upbeat music] Hello, and welcome to the Pillow Talks podcast. We're your hosts, Vanessa- And Xander Marin I'm a sex therapist with over 20 years of experience.
Xander Marin· Host0:23
And I'm just a regular dude. We share the ups and downs in our relationship while giving you step-by-step techniques for improving yours.
Vanessa Marin· Host0:30
Make sure you subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors, and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you'd had. Welcome back to another round of Is This Cheating?
Xander Marin· Host0:52
I think this is a crowd favorite, a fan favorite, and- This is the third one- It's one of our favorites.
Vanessa Marin· Host0:58
Yeah, this- It's exciting ... the third one we've done because we get so many submissions for this. We always turn to our trusty Instagram audience. We're at vanessaandxander, if you're not already following us. And we asked people, you know, we're doing this episode called Is This Cheating, so tell us a scenario in your relationship that's leaving you wondering, like, does this count as cheating or not? Like, it feels like a gray zone to me. I want somebody else to weigh in on this and let me know.
Xander Marin· Host1:28
Or like, I feel one way. My partner