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E260: How To Orgasm Like A Man: Breaking The Blocks That Keep Women Stuck

5/14/20261 hr 5 min

For a lot of women, orgasm feels like this mysterious thing that either happens or it doesn't. Nobody taught you how. And somewhere along the way, you picked up the idea that your pleasure is complicated, too demanding, or just... less important. But here's what we want you to hear: that's NOT true. In this episode, we reframe the whole conversation, asking what it would look like if women approached their own pleasure with the same expectation men do. No apology, no overthinking, no putting everyone else first. 💛 In this episode, you'll hear: The mental blocks that pull women out of the moment, from body distraction and to-do list thinking to feeling awkward or selfish for focusing on your own pleasure at all. The technique gaps no one ever filled in, including what to do if you've never had an orgasm, if you can only get there through oral, or you can get there on your own but not with a partner. The relational stuff that makes it even harder — worrying about how you smell or taste, not knowing how to redirect a partner without hurting his feelings, and the faking cycle that's been going on so long you don't even know how to stop. How to think like a man during sex and what it would actually mean for a woman to show up to her pleasure with that same sense of entitlement (in the best possible way). What the path forward actually looks like, whether you're starting from zero or expanding what's already working, both solo and with a partner. If you've ever felt like your orgasm is the last priority, this one is for you. 🔗 LINKS & RESOURCES Finishing School is Vanessa's step-by-step system for learning how to orgasm consistently, reliably, and in more ways than you might think possible. It's been completely rebuilt around the three blocks covered in this episode: Mindset, Technique, and Partnership. Work through the mental and emotional blocks keeping you stuck in your head Learn The Finishing Formula and the specific techniques most likely to get you there Built to meet you exactly where you are, with a 30-day money-back guarantee 👉🏻 Check out Finishing School here: vmtherapy.com/orgasm 💛 STAY CONNECTED 📸 Follow us on Instagram → https://instagram.com/vanessaandxander 💌 Get our weekly email — real talk, expert tips, and zero shame → https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe 🎧 Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you get your podcasts! If you're enjoying Pillow Talks, subscribing and leaving a review makes a huge difference — it helps more people find the show and actually improve their sex lives. We appreciate every single one. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Clips

Transcript preview

First 90 seconds
  1. Vanessa Marin· Host0:00

    We're doing this because of socialization, because we've been taught to put others' needs before our own, to not be selfish, to be a caregiver, to... And especially with men, you know, make sure his feelings are okay and his experience is good. But I think, yeah, that bottom line of, of being willing to sacrifice our own experience is something that men just don't relate to.

  2. Xander Marin· Host0:22

    Yeah, no. No.

  3. Vanessa Marin· Host0:24

    [laughs] [laughs] [upbeat music] Hello and welcome to the Pillow Talks podcast. We're your hosts, Vanessa.

  4. Xander Marin· Host0:37

    And Xander Marin.

  5. Vanessa Marin· Host0:38

    I'm a sex therapist with over 20 years of experience.

  6. Xander Marin· Host0:42

    And I'm just a regular dude. We share the ups and downs in our relationship while giving you step-by-step techniques for improving yours.

  7. Vanessa Marin· Host0:49

    Make sure you subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors, and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you'd had. As women, we are taught so much BS about our pleasure and our orgasm, that we are too needy, that our orgasm is too complicated, that we should be prioritizing our partner's pleasure over our own. Like, so much crap that gets into our heads. And all that is absolute crap, total BS, and it's sabotaging our ability to

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