Dee Salmin Went ‘Boy Sober’ For Three Years. This Is What She Learnt
4/26/20261 hr 5 min
Dee Salmin has spent years talking to other people about love, sex and relationships as the host of triple j’s The Hook Up. But behind the mic, her own dating life was far more complicated than you might expect.
In her early twenties, Dee found herself stuck in a pattern — chasing men who were hot and cold, accepting behaviour she now knows she deserved better than, and constantly seeking validation that never quite stuck.
So she made a radical decision. She stopped dating entirely.
For nearly three years, Dee went “boy sober”, stepping away from apps, relationships and even casual flings to figure out who she was without men at the centre of her life.
In this conversation with Kate Langbroek, Dee opens up about what that time taught her, the therapy that helped her understand her patterns, and the moment everything shifted.
She also shares what it’s been like to find love again — this time in the public eye — and how she’s approached building a relationship on her own terms, without losing herself in it.
And beyond her own story, Dee reflects on the reality of modern dating, why so many women feel like the bar is on the floor, and what it actually takes to build a relationship that feels secure, respectful and real.
Dee Salmin's book is It’s Not Love, Actually is out now.
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CREDITS:
Guest: Dee Salmin
Host: Kate Langbroek
Group Executive Producer: Naima Brown
Executive Producer: Bree Player
Assistant Producer: Coco Lavigne
Audio and Video Producer: Josh Green
Social Media Producer: Olivia Colman
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Clips
Transcript preview
First 90 secondsDee Salmin· Guest0:00
You know, I was putting up with behaviors that some people might be like, "I would never put up with that."
Kate Langbroek· Host0:03
Like, like what?
Dee Salmin· Guest0:05
Like, you know, I talk about how [lips smack] a lot of the times, like just even in, in sex or just like the relationships that I was like chasing, the guys would just not treat me very nicely.
Kate Langbroek· Host0:17
Right. Yeah.
Dee Salmin· Guest0:17
And like, you know, not really respectful and kinda, you know, lead me on and ghost me, and then I would just come crawling back or I'd like, whatever they wanted to do, I would just, you know, pander to them.
Kate Langbroek· Host0:28
[gentle music] This week on No Filter, you might think you already know my guest. She's the voice behind The Hook Up on Triple J, where she's spent years talking about love, sex, and modern relationships. She's built a reputation for being honest, direct, and very clear about one thing: women should not be settling. But there's also another version of her that exists out in the world, one shaped by headlines, commentary, and a level of scrutiny that comes with dating one of the most visible men in Australian sport. Dee Salmon is in a relationship with Collingwood captain Darcy Moore, and over the past few years their relationship has been picked apart in a very public way. From how they live, to how they love, to what she believes, it's all been up for debate. And Dee hasn't exactly stayed quiet.