Debra Soh on Why Men and Women Are Drifting Apart, Dating Apps, and Gen Z
4/3/20261 hr 30 min
Fewer people are having sex, fewer are forming lasting relationships, and many feel more isolated than ever. Why?
Michael Shermer sits down with neuroscientist and author Debra Soh to discuss her new book Sextinction: The Decline of Sex and the Future of Intimacy. They talk about the so-called sex recession, why modern dating feels so broken, and how social media, pornography, AI companions, and changing expectations between men and women are reshaping intimacy.
The discussion also touches on Gen Z mental health, dating apps, the manosphere, marriage, and the broader social consequences of a culture that increasingly substitutes screens for real human connection.
Debra Soh is a neuroscientist who specializes in human sexuality and biological explanations for behavior. She received her PhD from York University in Toronto and worked as a scientific researcher for eleven years. As a journalist, Soh writes about technology, health, and the politicization of science.
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Debra Soh· Guest0:39
[bell dings] The main message from left-leaning media, I say this as a journalist, is that men are terrible. If men are struggling in society, I say this in "Sextinction," you know, men are basically told to go cry into a pillow silently, and, like, left-leaning media doesn't care. The three sixes refer to a man who is over six feet tall, makes over six figures in annual income, and has a penis that is over six inches long. So basically, the idea is if you are dating a man who does not meet all three of these criteria, you're wasting your time. This is what the message is to women. And like you said, the number of men in America who meet all three of these sixes in terms of this criteria is... I-- when I did the calculation, it was maybe one percent. And then when you factor in personality, being straight, unmarried, and then chemistry and all these other factors that would be important when it comes to dating and relationships or marriage, that