Particle Data Platform

D05: 50 First Deaths

5/13/202648 min

Hold on to your zippers, space friends, because this is the installment you’ve been waiting for. That’s right, it's the part where the ol’ Derfster finally gets lucky! And then yes, gets quite unlucky, over and over again. But those are just details! Let’s focus on the smooching and canoodling! And wait, what’s this? Are Shae and GOOD_E partaking in the bacchanal!? If you want to find out, don’t touch that nipple-shaped dial.

Created by:

Jeremy Bent

Alden Ford

Allie Kokesh

Seth Lind

Winston Noel

Shane O’Connell

Justin Tyler

Moujan Zolfaghari

Edited by Seth Lind and Alden Ford 

Sound design and mix by Shane O’Connell

Theme song composed by Brendan Ryan, performed by Brendan Ryan, Shane O’Connell, Adam Minkoff and Jay Faires

The Young Old Derf Chronicles is a proud member of the Maximum Fun Network.

Thanks to everyone who participated in this year's MaxFunDrive! Still want to get in on the action? Follow this link to quickly support this show (and get in on our limited-time keychain sale to benefit the Center for Constitutional Rights): https://maximumfun.org/joinzyxx

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Thanks so much!

Clips

Transcript preview

First 90 seconds
  1. Derf· Host0:00

    [upbeat music] Well, readers, it's the chapter you've all been waiting for, the sexy one. There's a time in every young derf's life when his heart turns to jucking around a lot, and this is where it happens. Okay, well, uh, let's get into it. I know you're all titillated, so, um, let's do it. You'll never guess where this story starts, unless you guess the back of a refrigerated corpse truck.

  2. Speaker 10:32

    When making an incision, we should use the other hand to help stretch the skin.

  3. Derf· Host0:37

    Ah.

  4. Speaker 10:38

    This will tighten- Ah. [laughs] ... making it easier to cut- Oh, let me guess.

  5. Derf· Host0:42

    Welcome to the morgue ...

  6. Speaker 10:44

    functional. However, it's important that- Hey, zapsop ... towards it. Hello? What happened today? Am I alone here? Is there anyone in this- Wait, what?

  7. Derf· Host0:57

    Hello.

  8. Goody· Host0:58

    Um.

  9. Derf· Host0:59

    Um, hell- uh, sorry, I, I just woke up in here. It's very cold in here. Where, where are we? What's happening?

  10. Goody· Host1:05

    I was- I can't see your face.

  11. Derf· Host1:08

    Could you turn around?

  12. Goody· Host1:09

    Hello. Hi.

  13. Derf· Host1:11

    And there she was, the most beautiful creature I'd ever laid my recently resurrected eyes on. They say there's no thing as love at first sight, and I agree, but there's like, and Derf likes.

  14. Goody· Host1:27

    Wait, you're

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