Particle Data Platform
Mission To Zyxx

D01: The Derfect Crime

12/3/202541 min

Okay let’s see here. Episode descripsh. Something like: Oh hey it’s me, Old Derf! Sure, you know me as an elderly space wizard with the mysterious power of resurrection, a resume stacked with entry level jobs, and a talent for juckin’ around. But would you believe there was once a time when I was slightly LESS old, when my powers were just coming into focus, when I got pulled into adventure after adventure? It’s true! So buckle your space belts and settle in for the first installment of my MEMOIR, The Young Old Derf Chronicles. Here we go!<...

Transcript preview

First 90 seconds

  1. Derf0:00

    [upbeat music] Okay, I see there's a little red light on here. Does that mean it's recording, first of all?

  2. Speaker 10:06

    Yes. Yes. Now you just talk into it.

  3. Derf0:08

    Oh, that's nice. Red light's very nice. A red light means stop, but in this case, it means talk.

  4. Speaker 10:12

    [laughs] Uh, sure.

  5. Derf0:13

    Okay, uh, let me just talk. I'll just talk it out. That's what they say. Derf is my name, and Derf is actually my game. But who is Derf? I'm a adventurer, a Zima warrior, commander and conduit of the space. Uh, but most of all, I'm a sweetie pie.

  6. Speaker 10:35

    Excuse me. I'm sorry. You are recording- Sorry.

  7. Derf0:38

    You're interrupting a very important memoir.

  8. Speaker 10:40

    You are recording memoir in my shop?

  9. Derf0:42

    Well, I'm gonna wander around, do it, juck around while I do it. Yeah, I wanna take people there. That's why I'm doing an audio memoir. Anybody can write stuff down. I'm not a caveman.

  10. Speaker 10:51

    That tape recorder cost, uh, 34 krued.

  11. Derf0:54

    Hmm. I don't have that. How about this? I'll pay you in, um, a tale.

  12. Speaker 11:00

    Hmm.

  13. Derf1:00

    I'll pay you in a tale, a tale of Derf.

  14. Speaker 11:02

    Not remotely worth it for me, I don't think.

  15. Derf1:04

    What? This is a, a memory. You can't... Money can't buy a memory.

  16. Speaker 11:08

    Uh, money cannot buy a memory, and memories, uh, cannot buy a 34 krued tape recorder, so.

  17. Derf1:13

    You know what? Fine. You know what sucks here? Your ambient music. It's bad. So I'll see you later, and I'm not paying for- [upbeat music] Okay. Yes. Ahem. Where were we? The Young Old Derf Chronicles, Chapter

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