Coming Clean
2/9/20261 hr 37 min
Last week, we talked with psychologist Leslie John about the costs of keeping secrets. Today, Leslie returns with a look at the psychological power of self-disclosure. She says the moments of oversharing that we often consider "TMI" can actually strengthen our relationships. Then, in the second half of the show, listeners share their thoughts and questions about the expectations we put on modern marriages. Psychologist Eli Finkel returns for the latest installment of our series "Your Questions Answered."
Our next stops on Hidden Brain’s live tour are just weeks away! Join Shankar for an evening of science and storytelling in Philadelphia on March 21 or New York City on March 25. He’ll be sharing seven key psychological insights from his first decade hosting the show. And stayed tuned for more tour stops to be announced later this spring!
If you missed our original conversation with Eli Finkel, you can find it here. And here's where you can check out his podcast, "Love Factually."
Episode illustration by Bekeen Co. for Unsplash+
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First 90 secondsShankar Vedantam· Host0:00
This is Hidden Brain. I'm Shankar Vedantam. Growing up, I attended a Jesuit high school. [gentle music] I noticed that every weekend, my Catholic classmates and their families would line up and confess their sins to a priest. Some of those priests were also our teachers. They taught us history and geography and economics. I found myself wondering why in the world my classmates would fess up about the bad things they had done to the very teachers who held us to such strict account in the classroom. Nearly every religious and spiritual tradition has some version of the Catholic confessional. Everyone keeps secrets, but nearly everyone wants to share their secrets, too. Turns out we don't just want to be admired and loved, we also want to be seen. In our episode last week, we explored the costs of self-concealment. People who keep secrets have poorer physical and mental health. They are less likely to elicit help from others. If you missed that episode, you can find it in this podcast feed. It's titled Keeping Secrets. Today, we look at the psychological power of self-disclosure. Sharing more about what is happening in our lives with others turns out to be one of the best ways of winning friends and influencing people.