Coachella + Drunk College Stories
4/20/202656 min
Dana and David open with new material and a look at jokes that didn’t land before diving into Coachella. They share their thoughts on Justin Bieber’s performance and the controversy surrounding Sabrina Carpenter. They also weigh in on Katy Perry vs. Ruby Rose before moving into drunk college stories, a new round of Buzzing Around, and the latest news.
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Clips
Transcript preview
First 90 secondsDana Carvey· Host0:00
This one guy said, "What are you looking at?" I go, "I'm looking at you looking at me, [beep]."
David Spade· Host0:04
Yeah, I go, "Not much."
Dana Carvey· Host0:05
What the [beep] was that? What the [beep]- You had a joke about pickles? What the [beep] are you doing up there playing around? You're just shuffling around looking at your notes. [laughs] What's your takeaway?
David Spade· Host0:15
I went into my dorm at the SAE house- Hmm ... and, uh, two twin beds- Okay, yeah ... and the guy's, uh... No, here... I said to the guy. He said, "Well, this is weird." I said, "Yeah. Should we [beep] in this one and sleep in this one? Or what should we do?"
Dana Carvey· Host0:29
What are you looking at?
David Spade· Host0:32
[laughs] Do you know what you're looking at?
Dana Carvey· Host0:36
[laughs] Well- Is it a rhetorical question? Yeah. This one guy said, "What are you looking at?" I go, "I'm looking at you looking at me, bitch."
David Spade· Host0:43
Yeah, I go, "Not much."
Dana Carvey· Host0:45
[laughs] I'm trying to- I go- ... figure it out.
David Spade· Host0:49
[laughs] I go, "Move," and they go, "Make me." I go, "I don't make trash, I burn it."
Dana Carvey· Host0:52
Yeah. And if they start coming at 'em, at me, I just go, "Cut it out" [laughs] ... and do this thing. Cut it out.
David Spade· Host1:00
And I go like this, "Not the face."
Dana Carvey· Host1:01
[laughs] Oh, God. Might be in show business in 20 year- [laughs] ... seven years age now.
David Spade· Host1:09
Saving my face for him.
Dana Carvey· Host1:11
[laughs] Ooh.
David Spade· Host1:13
Well- Ooh ... what a rowdy start we have.
Dana Carvey· Host1:16
Whoa. Going right at it, my little- Comedy cavalcade.
David Spade· Host1:20
[imitates trumpet] Uh, your hair does look good. It's very fluffy.
Dana Carvey· Host1:23
Um- Very- Yeah, I have a, a new person, 'cause it's closer by to where I live.