Am I Letting My Jealousy Ruin This?
3/9/202655 min
A divorced woman calls Esther to untangle a new love that brings both exhilaration and heartache. She is in a relationship with a married man whose marriage is ethically non-monogamous and finds herself caught between desire, jealousy and the longing to feel chosen. As the conversation unfolds, buried childhood wounds, attachment patterns, and an inherited inner critic rise to the surface. They explore how old stories shape present love and what it might mean to rewrite the story she tells herself about love. Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They are edited for time, clarity, and anonymity. If you have a question you would like to talk through with Esther, send a voice memo to producer@estherperel.com. Esther is returning to SXSW on March 14th for a special live episode of Where Should We Begin. Visit http://voxmedia.com/sxsw to learn more and preregister. Producer’s Note: When our anonymous guests do a session with Esther for the podcast, it is an act of generosity for everyone who listens. These sessions are meant not only to support the people in the room with Esther, but all of us who learn from their stories. Our stories have many chapters, and what you hear is just one moment in someone’s journey. So even though the sessions are anonymous, please remember that real people are behind them and they may be reading your comments. Also, please join me on Entre Nous, my new home on Substack for anyone who wants to live, love, and work with more connection and imagination. I invite you to sign up and become a free or paid member at estherperel.substack.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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First 90 secondsSpeaker 00:01
Hi, Sara. I'm 41 years old, and I'm calling with a personally heart-wrenching case [laughs] of should I stay or should I go in regard to a man I've been seeing for almost two years. He and I met on a sort of casual dating app, and went into it very casually. I learned that he is married, and that he and his wife were, are no longer sexual or romantic in that way, but they are living together, share a bed. They co-parent an eight-year-old boy, just like I do with my ex-husband, with whom I do not share [laughs] a bed. Um, and she is very open and encouraging of all of this. And never in one million years would I have seen myself making my way into this kind of a dynamic. But this gentleman and I have very strong feelings for each other, and he and I go on dates every week to two weeks, and they're absolutely incredible from our chemistry as friends and humans, not to mention that I'm having the best sex of my life, like full stop. And he is emotionally