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Dear Hank & John

432: Turtetiquette

11/12/202539 min

Who is responsible for the ridiculous pet names from John and Hank’s childhood? Any tips on how to cope with pre-wedding stress? Can you explain snot? What is turtle etiquette? What organs do you actually need? What would happen if the oceans were 50% less salty? …Hank and John Green have answers!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

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Clips

The Good Goldfish
Delete At Seven Minutes
Crushing Interview Aftermath
Bluegreen Was Dead
Missing Bike Mystery
Mucus Mega-Molecule
Turtetiquette Brainstorm

Transcript preview

First 90 seconds

  1. Hank Green· Host0:01

    You're listening to a Complexly podcast. (upbeat music) Hello, and welcome to Dear Hank and John.

  2. John Green· Host0:12

    Or as I prefer to think of it, Dear John and Hank.

  3. Hank Green· Host0:14

    It's a podcast where two brothers answer your questions, give you devious advice, and bring you all the week's news from both Mars and AFC Wimbledon, but maybe not that last one because I don't think that... I don't have any right now. Anyway, Catherine recently said to me, John- Yeah. She was like, "I think I want to have another kid."

  4. John Green· Host0:27

    Oh my God.

  5. Hank Green· Host0:28

    And I was real surprised.

  6. John Green· Host0:29

    Yeah. I thought that ship had sailed for sure.

  7. Hank Green· Host0:32

    I said, "I th- I thought you liked this one."

  8. John Green· Host0:34

    (laughs) That's a pretty good joke.

  9. Hank Green· Host0:37

    Okay (laughs).

  10. John Green· Host0:37

    That's all right. It's not true though, right? I mean, you're not having another kid, are you?

  11. Hank Green· Host0:40

    No. No. Yes. Yes. Yes. We- that ship has indeed sailed. Um- That would be a weird way to break the news to me. W- how is, uh, how is the siblings? How do you, how do you find having siblings versus my situation where there's just one of me?

  12. John Green· Host0:53

    It's great. It's lovely. They're, um, they're lovely kids. So, Hank, I just did one of those like long form interviews that sometimes you do- Mm-hmm. ... where, uh, the interviewer talked to me for 90 minutes and asked me a bunch of questions and then it's all gonna come out as a podcast and, like, none of it will be cut and everything that I said- Yeah. ... will be hyper-scrutinized. And I- Is it like a big- is it a big one?

  13. Hank Green· Host1:10

    Is it like one that like Nicholas- It's pretty big. ... Cage would go on?

  14. John Green· Host1:13

    Nicholas Cage I think would do it, but hasn't been offered the opportunity. That's how big it is.

  15. Hank Green· Host1:18

    (laughs) Okay.

  16. John Green· Host1:19

    I think it's big enough that Nicholas Cage is like desperate to do it. He's like- Oh, wow. ... "Man, I hope someday I get to do this podcast."

  17. Hank Green· Host1:25

    No. No. No. No. You're not bigger than Nicholas Cage.

  18. John Green· Host1:28

    Okay. We'll go offline real quick. I'll

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