4 Step Approach To Stop Obsessing Over Someone
5/11/202618 min
Have you ever stared at a text message for 20 minutes trying to decode it and then another 20 minutes trying to figure out how to respond to it? In this week’s episode, I dive into the obsession and overthinking that can happen in dating, when every text, silence, and tiny interaction suddenly feels loaded with meaning. (And yes, I act out the entire internal meltdown we’ve all had while trying to craft the “perfect” reply.)
More importantly, I share a powerful framework I teach to my coaching clients called the “CALM Method,” designed to help you stop spiraling and regain emotional control. We explore the idea of the “bodyguard," which is the protective part of you formed from past experiences that tries to keep you safe, but often also creates anxiety. I’ll walk you through practical steps to calm that fear, reconnect with yourself, and focus on real compatibility instead of fantasy.
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Transcript preview
First 90 secondsMatthew Hussey· Host0:00
[upbeat music] David. David, the girl I'm seeing, she's sitting over there right now.
David0:14
How are you contacting me?
Matthew Hussey· Host0:15
We're making a new video, remember?
David0:17
Right. Right.
Matthew Hussey· Host0:18
Look, she's working right across from me. She hasn't texted me back since our last date. If I go over there, I don't want there to be this weird tension like I know she hasn't texted me back, which I obviously do.
David0:27
Matt, you live together. That's Audrey. That's your wife.
Matthew Hussey· Host0:30
Yes, I know. That's what makes it so awkward. If she doesn't end up being into me, we're gonna have to run into each other every day, and I'm pretty sure she likes me. We had a child together, and she sends me all these signals. Last week she asked me to re-grout the roof, and she watches all of my Instagram stories.
David0:45
Look, dude, it's- it's all good. Like, you kinda got this locked in. Just play it cool.
Matthew Hussey· Host0:51
I can't, Dave. This woman is the light that filters through the clouds of my tumultuous mind. Are you, like me, anxiously obsessing over someone right now? Well, stay tuned, because I promise you by the end of this video both you and I will have exhaled, relaxed our shoulders, and regained a sense of calm. Just watch. I remember these feelings well. I'm having them right now. We just wanna enjoy liking someone, but the nauseating reality for so many of us is that the moment we like someone, we begin to obsess. We decode every