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260. "We’re in our 40s and forgot to invest. Are we screwed?"

5/12/20261 hr 53 min

Ramit Sethi of I Will Teach You To Be Rich talks to Nicole and Shane, an engaged couple in their forties getting married in just 11 days. Together they earn $241,000 a year, have a net worth of $588,000, and hold $265,000 in savings, but their financial lives are still tangled. Nicole has built a rich life around travel, dining out, and intentional spending, while Shane is a natural saver whose job has covered most of his living expenses. As they prepare for marriage, a future child, and a major shift in Nicole’s income, Ramit helps them confront the messy reality of combining money, separating business and personal finances, investing more aggressively, and turning vague dreams into a real shared Rich Life.   In this episode we uncover: • Why Nicole’s $10,000-a-month spending shocked Shane early in their relationship • How Nicole built a “Rich Life” for one through travel, dining out, and dedicated savings • Shane’s unusual work setup where housing, food, and utilities have been covered • The tension of combining finances just 11 days before their wedding • Why Nicole feels judged for her lifestyle, even though her numbers are strong • Their combined income of $241,000 a year and net worth of $588,000 • Why Shane has a higher net worth despite Nicole earning slightly more • Nicole’s concern that her income could drop by half after having a child • How Nicole’s business and personal finances became dangerously tangled • Their surprisingly low fixed costs and unusually high savings rate • Why having $265,000 sitting in savings may actually be holding them back • Shane’s habit of trying to time the market when investing • Why their projected $1.7 million retirement portfolio may not be enough for the life they want • Ramit’s advice on turning their messy numbers into a shared financial vision before marriage ⏩ CHAPTERS (00:00:00) Teaser: “You spend $10,000 a month?” (00:01:02) Introduction: combining money before marriage (00:02:47) Nicole and Shane’s financial snapshot (00:06:53) Nicole feels judged by her lifestyle (00:08:50) Nicole’s Rich Life: travel, dining out, and $500 dresses (00:12:45) How marriage changes Shane’s living situation (00:15:38) Reviewing their Conscious Spending Plan (00:19:42) Their $241,000 household income (00:24:01) Ramit explains why letting the prenup discussion go was a mistake (00:27:20) Nicole’s business and personal finances are mixed together (00:35:00) The problem with saving 42% but under-investing (00:40:32) Nicole’s guilt-free spending doesn’t add up (00:45:26) Ramit explains the danger of tracking without understanding (00:48:53) Their retirement projection (00:50:13) Why $1.7M may not be enough (00:52:05) Reallocating savings instead of only cutting spending (01:20:12) Turning dreams into a realistic financial vision (01:47:11) Ramit’s final advice: use the time before income changes wisely (01:50:00) Follow-ups and closing thoughts This episode is brought to you by: Netsuite | Get the free guide “Demystifying AI” at https://netsuite.com/ramit LMNT | Get a free LMNT Sample Pack with any order at https://drinklmnt.com/RAMITFactor | Head to https://factormeals.com/ramit50off and use code ramit50off to get 50 percent off and free daily greens per box, with new subscription only, while supplies last until 09/27/2026. (See website for more details). DeleteMe | Get 20% off all consumer plans when you go to https://joindeleteme.com/ramit and use promo code RAMIT at checkoutGet 25% off my programs until Friday May 15th at iwt.com/programs with code RESET26. Connect with Ramit • Get my new book, Money For Couples • Get Money Coaching with Ramit  • Download the Conscious Spending Plan • Listen to my book—now on Audible • Get my New York Times best-selling book • Get my no-numbers journal • Other episodes • Instagram • Twitter • YouTube Apply to be on my podcast at https://iwt.com/apply

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Transcript preview

First 90 seconds
  1. Shane· Guest0:00

    You spend 10 effing thousand dollars a month?

  2. Nicole· Guest0:04

    Now that we're, like, combining finances, can I buy this, like, $500 dress now, or how does this work?

  3. Shane· Guest0:10

    That's where some of my apprehension comes in. How is this going to work with the amount of money that she spends?

  4. Ramit Sethi· Host0:19

    According to this, you might be spending more than you make every single month.

  5. Nicole· Guest0:23

    I'm pretty much spending exactly as much as I'm making.

  6. Shane· Guest0:26

    Just 'cause you write it all down in these spreadsheets doesn't mean that it's accurate or it's actually working.

  7. Ramit Sethi· Host0:33

    You don't have enough money to do all this stuff. Guilt-free spending, you're at a negative. Like, it would make no sense for the two of you to be making $179,000 and not be able to go out to a coffee. Investments are Shane has 143K, Nicole has 96K. That's too low. You're 40, is that right?

  8. Shane· Guest0:50

    Mm-hmm.

  9. Ramit Sethi· Host0:50

    You gotta be investing. You gotta put that money to work. What you are at risk for is not having enough money as you get older. You better start investing aggressively today. For those of you in a relationship, when was the moment where you combined your finances? I'm not just talking about combining a bank account. I'm talking about when you really felt that you were a financial team, when you saw money not as mine and theirs, but ours. I'll tell you that for me, that shift was harder than I expected. I had been talking about money, thinking about money every single day for decades. Nobody asked me any questions

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