17. Finding Freedom from the Need to Heal with Phillip
5/20/20261 hr 12 min
In this episode, Peter sits down with Philip, a musician and father who has spent years searching for relief from the pain, shame, and emotional exhaustion he’s carried for most of his life.
Philip shares how childhood loss, instability, and painful experiences from his past shaped the way he relates to himself and the world around him, leaving him caught in cycles of self-soothing, addiction, and the feeling that something about him still needs to be fixed.
At one point, Philip says, “I just want to stop running.” As the conversation unfolds, Peter explores the exhausting pressure so many people carry to escape themselves, improve themselves, or finally become enough, and what becomes possible when we stop relating to ourselves as a problem to solve.
Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational purposes only and does not provide professional advice. The views expressed are those of the host and participants alone.
Clips
Transcript preview
First 90 secondsPeter Crone· Host0:00
You never, ever wanted to be healed.
Philip· Guest0:03
I wanna feel healed. I just w- I just wanna be, you know... I wanna stop, uh, I wanna stop running. I can feel where I'm not taking care of myself, and I'm, I'm eating food that makes me sick. Sort of self-soothing, like, five, six times in a day, and then I have all this shame around it.
Peter Crone· Host0:23
What I want you to realize, Philip, none of those are the problem. They are the solution.
Philip· Guest0:29
I, I just wanna be happy.
Peter Crone· Host0:31
Your nature is freedom, but you're psychologically, emotionally telling yourself that you can't do something. Then because of our nature of freedom, the inclination is towards that.
Philip· Guest0:42
That's the frustrating thing, is I'm, I'm having this new awareness, and I have moments where I feel bliss and beauty, and I write these songs, and everything makes sense.
Peter Crone· Host0:52
Most human beings and their identity are defined by something they're not. I'm not good enough. I'm not loved. I'm not valued. I feel that one of the most pivotal moments that has defined Philip's persona is...
Philip· Guest1:09
Dude, I was just... I'm cracking up, man. When I, when I got the email from Cambria, I brought my whole family in, all the kids, and I read the email, and my 11-year-old was like, "Dad, you're about to get chromed." [laughs] "For real." And that's